The Happiness of the Human Family and Its Familiar Enemy

-Susan Cook-

All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, Tolstoi wrote as the first sentence in Anna Karenina. The epitaph he chose to precede it , though, is from the Bible, Romans 12 verse 19. ‘Vengeance is mine. I will repayeth, saith the lord.’ There is no family that quite fits Tolstoi’s juxtaposition of these two observations as well as our very large human family because the variations humans find to reap unhappiness in their own deliberate vengeful acts against others seems endless. We witnessed this most recently in San Bernandino.

But we have seen these cold deliberate acts disregarding human connection before. They are not new. Remembering might help us acknowledge this couple’s deliberate creation of unhappiness is a familiar enemy of the human family- vengeance- in the same family that Tolstoi said so casually and yes, sometimes, monotonously carries out its happiness.

Please remember the murder by hooded Ku Klux Klansmen of a quiet civil rights supporter Emmet Till in the 1960‘s America. Please remember the Holodomar, Stalin’s deliberate starvation of millions of Ukrainians in the rich fertile farmlands of Ukraine in the 1930’s. Please remember the Nazi Doctors who willingly used concentration camp prisoners as human subjects in cruel sadistic medical experiments. Please remember the Rwanadan genocide in which one million Tutsis were murdered in 100 days by the Hutu majority. There are many many examples of cold indifference to the human consequence of deliberately created unhappiness.

A peculiarity of the San Bernadino massacre is that parents of a six month old girl carried it out, deliberately disregarding their connection to her. That peculiarity of the perpetrators might even raise the question of whether the parents alleged motivator Isis, carries such force as to untie one of the human family’s most primitive instincts, to bond with and protect a child.

We, after all, worry about the abandonment of a six month old, who by the time they left her that morning would have developed the stranger wariness that attachment brings and now, in her six month old way, knows in her typically human family way, that the most familiar faces, those of her parents, have not come back. These odd parents, concerned enough about the continuity of their membership in the human family to leave a descendant have now out of their vengeance left her alone. One wonders if they were becoming so attached to her and she to them that thoughts of leaving her were becoming- as they do- intolerable- thus pushing them to act soon, before the enormous power that six-month old babies attached to their parents have to keep them close thus rendering parents powerless and unable to tolerate abandoning the child. A six month old’s need for others and their need for the six month old is one of the places the human heart can not withstand pressure no matter where it comes from to leave someone behind. The bond is too powerful.

The vengeance of Isis and these terrorists has been seen before . But it has not yet succeeded in undoing the wistfulness of a six month old looking for her lost connection or our acknowledgment of that distress. That, may be, after all what keeps the effortless unfolding of unremarkable happiness in the human family in the first place, a sensibility no vengeance has ever succeeded in doing away with.

The Thickness of the Moral Skin of the US Senate: To Be the Catcher in the Rye

"You know that song 'If a body catch a body comin' through the rye? I'd like-"

"It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!" old Phoebe said. "It's a poem. By Robert Burns."

"I know it's a poem by Robert Burns."

She was right, though. It is "If a body meet a body coming through the rye." I didn't know it then, though.

"I thought it was "If a body catch a body'," I said."Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around-nobody big, I mean-except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch eveybody if they start to go over the cliff-I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."

After Holden Caulfield has this conversation with his little sister, in his sojourn before entering a psychiatric hospital, he calls up Mr. Antolini, the Pencey Prep teacher . "He's the one that finally picked up that boy that jumped out the window I told you about, James Castle. Old Mr. Antolini felt his pulse and all, and then he took off his coat and put it over James Castle and carried him all the way over to the infirmary. He didn't even give a damn if his coat got all bloody."

In the aftermath of the confirmation hearing of a prep school alumnus who left a trail of nightmares and unresolved trauma in the emotional web of one 15 year old, the thickness of the moral skin of US Senate members comes to mind. I'll talk about the 2 from my state since I know most about their moments of moral cowering.

In 2007, I was interviewed and quoted by a reporter for Current.org , a public broadcasting newspaper. Susan Collins had contributed mightly to the firing of a popular Friday night jazz host who had criticized the Iraq War- in a genial, understated. way Turns out that the Maine public broadcasting Board of Trustees was comprised of members who together gave over $160,000 to the Republican party. I said (look it up) that Mainers would work hard to defeat Susan Collins in her next go-round she being someone who engages in activities that usually get legislators thrown out of Washington. Now, Senator Collins does not like anyone making reference to her pre-marital relationships in her first 50 years of dating eligibility or recreational activities. That off-sides view that Susan Collins endorses about her own past, may explain her minimizing the testimony of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh's sexually assaulted victim. Indecent exposure is also illegal. Instead, she insisted his distortions, lies and beligerence toward his 2018 Senate questioners had nothing to do with his judicial temperament. By Collins' side, as she announced her choice, was Maine's recent failed GOP gubernatorial candidate, former DHHS Commissioner Mary Mayhew whose cost-cutting adminstration co-occurred with an almost unparalled number of deaths of children at the hands of their foster, biological or step-parents.(https://www.pressherald.com/2018/05/14/letter-to-the-editor-mayhews-dhhs-neglected-maines-children/)

Senator Collins usually hires out her thin moral skin and backlash toward those who threaten. Her one-time Director of New Media Matthew Gagnon was a player on the Maine political commentator scene whose willingness to bully has been documented on the front page of Maine's largest newspaper.

Then there's Maine's other Senator Angus King who ires quickly when anyone calls him out on his - ahem- purchase - when he was governor- of a state-owned oceanfront parcel of land abutting one of Maine's pristine ocean-side state parks. I even a wrote some lyrics sung to the tune from "America the Beautiful" which his purchase decidely was not.The purchase was documented in the Times Record and noted there was no "public bidding" on a piece of property that any one knew would do nothing but increase in value. It is now worth many times what he paid for it by encouraging the right state employee .

"Oh beautiful for spacious me, for land I'd like to buy,

that borders on state property in Georgetown or nearby,

that suddenly the state of Maine would like to sell to me,

the ocean deep, the price real cheap, what better guy than me?"

The morally thin skin of US Senators created a Brett Kavanaugh nomination and hearing that has left millions of sexual assault survivors in this country with a deep sense of moral betrayal. While survivors are compromised because of the emotional fissures trauma creates, many have stepped forward to disclose, despite the insistent cacophony of shame and the self-doubt that the assault is their own fault. Withstanding that self-blame requires morally thick skin which the moral imperative of the Kavanaugh hearing creates.

I do not trust Senator Collins or our other Senators- to be- we all hope they might- the catcher in the rye. Only one came to Holden Caulfield's mind- the teacher who carried the suiciding adolescent boy and didn't even care if he got blood on his jacket. Senator Collins and her GOP Senators minimized the belligerance, hostility and denial of his past of a Supreme Court nominee accused - not in a trial- but a job interview. In the wake of that dismissal, many, many sexual assault survivors who the equally morally thin-skinned Lindsay Graham said "have a problem"( hint: are flawed, damaged, mentally ill) will go home and direct the damage toward themselves- in self-harm, self-mutilation, if not suicidality.

Not one of these Senators can be trusted to be the catcher in the rye- nor can this Supreme Court nominee-. They are far too frightened of getting blood on their jackets or their morally thin skin.

It's Not What You're Given, It's What You Do With What You Get:

My Supermarket Monopoly Contest and the Pentagon Budget

In my state, the annual "Shop, Play, Win Monopoly"game, a"Collect and Win" game offering" "over $250 million in prizes and money saving offers" after 3 months of fabulous opportunities at every checkout moment at my local Supermarket is winding down.

Fingers crossed . I finally went through the hours long process of tearing open (along the perforated lines, of course) each potential gold mother lode held in each small folded square (one for each 10 dollars spent) and then placing each individual rectangular stamp (after meticulously moistening the back) on the "Monopoly Board.

The one million dollar cash prize required that you randomly receive 6 certain stamps each with an assigned number (333A1, 334B1, 335C1, 336D1, 337E1 and 338F1) of bewildering complexity.

I knew it would be tough to win that. So I set my sights slightly lower, the $100,000 cash prize maybe with only 5 specifically numbered stamps .

In every single category I came up one stamp short with the exception of the One Million Dollar prize in which I came up 2 short. Correction, I also came up 2 short for the $500 Portable Grill and Groceries which I didn't really want. Last year, almost the same thing happened. I won nothing.

But how is it that a supermarket chain presenting the same contest in several states offering 28 different prizes manages to precisely track the distribution of millions of these tiny rectangular stamps and confidently state that 3 lucky shoppers "might" win the million dollars or 250 "might" win the $500 Portable Grill and Groceries?

This is in stunning contrast to The Nation magazine's article (November 27, 2018) "Exclusive: The Pentagon's Massive Accounting Fraud Exposed". Independent auditors Ernst and Young and others hired to externally audit the Department of Defense reported it impossible to have a reliable audit because of a completely flawed Pentagon accounting system. The audit request came because The Pentagon for 26 years failed to internally audit themselves despite the 1990 Chief Financial Officers' Act requiring all departments and agencies to reliabily internally audit. Only the Pentagon has failed to comply. Impossible to have a reliable Pentagon audit? So, why doesn't the Pentagon hire auditors who took the same statistics classes the people who design the "Shop, Play, Win Monopoly " game did? In the supermarket game, "impossible" probably means one person getting all the little stamps to win "the Million Dollars" and "the $500 Portable Grill and Groceries" and the "$30,000 Jet Skis" . Maybe the "$20,000 College Tuition". And, you know, the Supermarket statisticians know exactly the impossibility of one person winning all 4 of the prizes .

Now, the bookkeepers at the Pentagon have far better benefits and far better salaries. than the Supermarket chain contest makers, let alone the benefits and salaries of the high school kids and young adults who work as baggers and cashiers. But those Supermarket statisticians still figure out these complicated probabilities and get every penny the Federal government levies on the workers in taxes.

By the way, The Pentagon receives $.54 out of every dollar of federal appropriations.

It has a 2.7 trillion dollar budget and no one knows exactly where that money goes.

The Deputy Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan said at least they tried and the Pentagon didn't think they would pass anyway. That attitude would not be tolerated at my local supermarket chain. They after all track those millions of rectangular stamps and insure that only 75 of the "$7500 Family Vacation" prize will be available. Or have the where-with-all to hire auditors who can. No way will more than 75 people ever become lucky winners of that prize- unless- through some miracle in which Pentagon bookkeepers are suddenly cast down the ladder of success and hold jobs at the Supermarket Chain corporate headquarters. And then more Family Vacations then you could imagine going to the unsuspecting shoppers who- it turns out- with the same stroke of Pentagon incompetence have a major lucky day.

The Nation article went on to say that years of fraud in the Pentagon books works like this. Quote "When the Dept of Defense submits its annual budget requests to Congress, it sends along the prior year's financial reports, which contain fabricated numbers. The fabricated numbers disguise the fact that the DoD does not always spend all the money Congress allocates in a given year. However, instead of returning such unspent funds to the US Treasury, as the law requires, the Pentagon sometimes launders and shifts such money to other parts of the DoD budget." All of it a violation of the US Constitution. And thus the Pentagon's budget increases every single year.

Congress does not demand that the Pentagon enforce the 1990 Chief Financial Officers Act . Each year, the cost of the military budget goes up and up.

Going through the Supermarket Checkout line is very poignant sometimes. Food is our life blood. Sometimes, there's the young mom trying to keep a baby quiet and a 4 year old engaged while waiting to see the cost of all the food piled high in her grocery cart. Food is a largely unsubsidized commodity in this country or at least never subsidized at the $.54 cents of every dollar that the military receives. Until Congress demands that the financial record be set straight, no one knows exactly what the Pentagon spends on what. But you can bet, when military conflict comes, the Pentagon is more than willing to entice the low-paid , no subsidized college tuition - federally taxed supermarket workers- to enlist or - be drafted- to place their lives in the the lottery that every military bloodbath inevitably creates.

One small correction. I did win won thing this year. A free bagel.

Death of a Paddler

A white water rafting guide died on July 24, last year, four weeks after being diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. "Sully" was a white water rafting guide out of the West Branch of the Penobscot slightly northwest of the place where the flow of the East leg joins it to become the Penobscot River.

When I was told that he died of a very aggressive cancer four weeks after initial diagnosis, my first thought was, "I wonder if he had health insurance." White water rafting guides, registered Maine Guides, commercial fisherman, small family farmers, all the self-employed seasonally based vocations that are the bristling heart and soul that Maine's natural resources offer up, do not have a reliable, affordable health insurance network. Going without means missing medical check-ups.

I only knew this particular guide because he was a guest at a relative's wedding, the groom and his bride, both White Water Rafting Guides. The wedding celebrated every aspect of Maine's outdoors. The vows were exchanged on "Miss Moggin", a lobster boat decorated with white tulle, moored off Pumpkin Island Lighthouse, at the southern end of Eggemoggin Reach. Other wedding guests reached the wedding location on a boat formerly used as an island mailboat which tied up on the port side of the "Miss Moggin" and the "Millie", a smaller lobster boat tied up on the starboard. The officiant, a commercial fisherman, donned his white Captain's shirt, trimmed with gold braid epaulets along with a white dress cap loaned to him for the occasion by the local Fire Department chief. Under blue skies, with a fair wind, over sixty guests on the mailboat, 30 others on the Miss Moggin and 10 on the Millie observed as the couple vowed "to love and cherish" "til' death do us part" noting that "marriage is a vow not to be taken lightly". The bride wore a white, empire-style wedding gown, with beaded bodice and lace overlays. Both the bride and groom wore boat shoes. The Miss Moggin, despite the white tulle, still looked like a lobster boat which the groom's soon-to-be-mother-in-law noted, to no one in particular, “She knows I don't like boats.”

At the reception, the couple's engagement with the outdoors was on full display: the two tier wedding cake, decorated with fishing rods, canoes, moose, deer and white water rapids, a collage of the couple with the moose which the bride had shot when she won a permit through the Moose Lottery, with the groom as co-permitee. Several photos of the couple with deer and various fish they shot or caught together were included, along with one photo of a rafting run in which the groom served as stern paddler with the bride paddling at the side. The best man congratulated the groom on sharing his life with a bride willing to lather herself up with fly dope, to walk 2 miles through the woods to fish for trout.

The bride invited the crowd "to party it down". Sully and the white water rafting guides, dressed in their semi-formal wedding attire: water-proof sandals, short-sleeved shirts and dressy water-proof shorts,took her up on it. Their gift to the bride was a bottle of "Hot Damn", a Made-in-Maine liquer. The female rafting guides decided to move away from the stuffiness of the dance floor to the less restrictive area on the top of their table (#11 in the Guest Seating Guide) from which the dishes had been cleared. They were joined , shortly thereafter, by their male rafting guide companions, Sully included. They danced with great abandon until the groom's maternal aunt tapped the dancer closest to her on the ankle, pointing to the table that looked like it might break. "Thank you", she said, and they got down. The party was, one of rafting guides said, "A Ray-jah (spelled R-a-g-e-r).

Great abandon moves a body through a landscape far different from a cancer diagnosis that ends a life in 4 weeks.Great abandon is what day trippers try to get a taste of when they sign up for a rafting trip. Maine legislators, if they want to insure that young people cultivate careers as Outdoor Crafters of Great Abandon, need to make health care available and affordable to them, maybe even allowing them to buy into the Maine State employees' health plan. Maybe even at the same rate that legislators do. "In wildness is the preservation of the world", Thoreau wrote. He too relied on the expertise of Maine Abenaki guides to craft his trip into the Maine Woods. Someone needs to be looking out to preserve the health and wellbeing of Maine's Outdoor Crafters, who create the rafting, bird hunting, fishing trips, Great Abandon moments for those lacking those opportunities in their everyday lives.

It turns out Sully had moved to Alaska from Maine and found his dream job, calling on his knowledge of the wild,that maybe even gave him health insurance. Twenty years and four paddlers later, the now very married couple drove to the Forks. They missed the spreading of the ashes but got there in time for the party.

Addendum to Bannon's Farewell. "I Was Seeing Him..."

to the tune from "I'll Be Seeing You.."
-Susan Cook-

I was seeing him, yes

it was a minor whim

I probably should have stayed home

watching re-runs of

a certain Cosa Nostra film .

I had no idea

it was a favorite of his too.

I was hard at work helping You-Know-Who.

So I guess I'll change my pattern.

Try to get back to the gym.

Do a lot more yoga.

See if my PC could possibly fit in

The next space launch they're having

maybe Elon Musk could try

get it out there- headed straight

for Mars, hey, maybe for Saturn.

Actually, I barely knew him.

Roger Boulder, was that him?

The other thing I do not do

is send out emails

on a whim.

I hope you understand emails

easily are faked.

The important things- I say, face-to-face.

That was why I saw him briefly,

usually at yoga class.

He is a big tanner.

Not my style. Burns my nose too fast.

I spend enough time dealing

with my allergies to dust.

How I got by with no yoga,

Let's just say, it's now a must.

Now I won't be seeing him

at yoga anymore.

It may be a little while before

a class offered near him. But more

and more, federal prisons opt

to have it. Keeps the prisoners calm.

No more tanning booths.

Just downward facing dog.

I will not be seeing him.

I got my computer cleaned up.

Gee, I'm sorry that he's hit

a road bump. Sort of a hiccup.

I don't think back to those days,

I secretly admired

Mr. Mueller. Those head stand shoulders,

shout out, Yoga something he has tried.

Re-purposing Goodness-Sustaining Heart 

Nancy Messonier is the sister of Trump-fired former Assistant Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, who suggested his co-workers tape record Trump as documentation of Trump's mental status. The Trump administration was not above threatening defunding or some other vendetta against this Rosenstein relative Nancy Messonier, as early as January and February we know now.

"Trump," the Washington Post said on April 23, "ignored 70 days of warnings about the Coronavirus beginning in early January. He kept insisting as he did on March 10, that "it will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away." Even the Wall Street Journal stepped up and reported that "Trump was 'furious' after Nancy Messonier warned finally on February 25 that the coronavirus was rapidly spreading and that 'the disruption to everyday life might be severe.' Trump called Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar and threatened to fire Messonier. " Vice President Pence the next day was declared "in charge" of the pandemic. Azar too was telling Trump exactly what Trump wanted to hear. 

When we consider the heart Mainers bring to fighting Covid19 spread, Trump's actions to – as ever- repurpose any situation to his own self-serving myopia- borders on sinister. His government has worked against Mainers who in their own good way, like the Guilford folk going to work despite fears, did their part.

I went to "Big Al's Super Values" recently the first time since March 21 when Maine began closing almost all of its doors and the electronic sign outside changed from "We Have Toilet Paper"

to "Closed. Saturday March 21 6 PM" to "Reopen?" Big Al has bent with the times, compliance with CDC recommendations required for entry.

The items they sell, "Odd Lot Outlet" all seem slightly more luminous now- not just because the clerks said they have been sanitizing everything. I know they have. Us all in our face masks and face shields, every cookware item, automobile repair assistance tool, toy and coloring book and the fire sale paper and office products from a nationwide retailer who I won't mention by name, all of it seemed brighter.

Yes, a little, just because it was there, even the canary yellow legal size paper. I noticed that because as Maine closed its doors, me running out of paper loomed large. I knew I would soon run out of the 6 for $1.00 small metal clip binders I place around hard copies of my PRX series submissions. For some reason, I thought I'd have enough until the store re-opened. I did run out. I knew I was set with my collapsible portable blanket storage box which serves as my sound and echo-proof recording studio, barring additional disaster.

And yes, far greater loss has merged into American lives, our country, too, a repository of stunned grief like that of refugees or other trauma survivors. Our roots are newly veined with heart breaking events that have become commonplace. The high school seniors with their drive-thru graduations. Many, many members of this disparate society finding a mask to wear, one a friend made, a relative passed on, or something re-purposed to protect.

There are the dancers in their apartment hallways now using the confines of their sequestered freedom to roam, as props in choreography. And the children with their crooked elbows resting their chins on hands. The sadness in their eyes while they gaze into computer screens not photo-shopped out.

We all lose track of time in upending moments, even the usual reliability of time  has changed. Three months in the life of an 8 year old does not have the same duration as that of a ninety year old in an entire life span lived. And the delineation of time, in the stores we visit, in retail, of all things, keeps us from losing hope in an ending. This pandemic gives us a taste of just how debilitating the timelessness anti-aging drugs tantalize us with.

While Big Al's, his staff, we were all doing our part, good was being repurposed for bad by an administration set on deception. In many countries, lying to please the Fuhrer has been commonplace. There is a way in which leaders repurposing good for bad is timeless. In our masks, staying 6 feet away, we need to recognize it when it decides to visit us where we live.

The Texas Abortion Ban, Vigilante Justice and Frankie Valli's Love for Human Connection

-Susan Cook-

"Jersey Boys", the emotionally sensuous, tender musical journey of the 1960's-era Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons is now the one remaining 2021 production of Maine State Musical Theater shown to vaccination proving/ masked audiences only.

Opening night coincided with the US Supreme Court 5-4 decision to not review the Texas abortion law which appoints and allows citizens to seek vigilante justice against a medical provider or insurance company who is "suspected" to have supported or enabled a woman to terminate a pregnancy. A Vigilante Justice mindset toward women who support or act on Reproductive Choice is not new. Social media "shaming", "outing" if not outright harassment have become commonplace, fostered by Vigilante Justice -types- those who have seized on anti-abortion stands as a chance to fan the moral crevices of their narcissism through anonymous Facebook or other social media posts. That has yet to become a prosecutable crime so it is not surprising that women's privacy again is seen as fair game for assault if not rape.

The music of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons was and is a mirror for the moral narcissism of their time. The libido-driven romance of – yes- men and women (adolescents and adults) reckoning with the quest for deep human connection- heterosexually- it seemed- carrying on the myth of "The One" while the fifties and sixties culture around them minimized any of the psychological or physical trauma of the time. The unwanted pregnancies, some terminated by inner city abortionists, the deaths that followed from physical consequences or suicide, the closeted men and women invisible in the cultural edification of heterosexuality, the dismissiveness toward date rape, incest, domestic violence, wife and child battering, the lack of any safe and sound child care options so latch-key children were left as caretakers, 9 years old left to caretake  5 year olds.

The Four Season's second big hit, "Big Girls Don't Cry" perfectly mirrors the time's trivilialzation of deep emotional pain:

"...told my girl we had to break up

...maybe I was cru-you-el...

Shame on you, your Mama said...

Shame on you you're crying in your bed...

Shame on you you told me lies...

Big Girls Do Cry...

Any number of teenage women whose disclosure of an unwanted pregnancy or incest or rape or sexual intercourse were met with (still often are) physical assault, face slapping, shunned exile or abandonment by mothers, fathers, relatives, the circles they might have reached toward. Collectively, the woman's emotional pain became invisible. The shame that Facebook and other social media now profit from in their anonymous posting options allow the Vigilante Justice-types a new means for public shaming through privacy rape. Many Frankie Valli-era teenagers and young women died from the shaming that fueled their drug or alcohol addiction or promiscuity or suicidality. Big girls don't cry.

Shame is precisely the emotion that the Senior Legislative Aide of Texas Right to Life, Rebecca Parma attempts to generate in an NPR interview when she offers the false equivalence that terminating the pregnancy of a zygote, embryo or fetus which is non-viable outside of the mother's uterus is equivalent to killing a child that even rape or incest do not justify.The 30 or 40-something Rebecca Parma now endorsing Privacy rape by forcing providers to disclose private medical information is as exploitive as the Frankie Valli-era exploitation of privacy then dismissing as "private" incest, date rape, domestic violence and in the case of unidentified paternity, fathers whose signatures and names were left off birth certificates of infants born to single mothers, later left and ignored in foster homes, foundling homes or orphanages. Ancestry.com has now filled in many of those blank signatures. Ms. Parma may not know of any suicided pregnant women or backroom abortion recipients or incested or physically assaulted children. The Texas Abortion law renders them as invisible to her as the privacy rape victims the law targets. A case in point is the non-acknowledgement to her Republican colleagues of the profound impact being born into poverty carries. As early as 1980, the Maine Children's Death Study documented the strongest correlate of child death before the age of 18 as the child's household's eligibility for Food Stamps.

Tragedy came Frankie Valli's way, too. His 22 year old daughter Francie died of a drug overdose, alcoholism ended his marriage , likely more human suffering than Jersey Boys reveals. But his lyricists and songwriters brought their creative longings to the moral underpinnings of true love: that it could be good, whole and true. In 1967 "You're Just Too Good to Be True" came just six years before Roe Vs. Wade began to unpack the cultural truth around him, in all its human suffering, walkup abortionists and suiciding 20- somethings. Roe vs. Wade began to prevent what had always belonged to women to bear: the ignored suffering of children after birth . Frankie Valli's devoted musical reverence for the deep nourishment of a healthy life-enhancing human connection did not and could not succeed in bringing those to fruition in the ways that Roe vs. Wade has- in far far more ways than Ms. Parma could ever know, despite the Texas license giving her and anyone else permission to invade privacy at whatever cost.

Privacy Rape, Facebook and the Right to Be Free From Exploitation
-Susan Cook-

I was listening to Heidi Schreck, the playwright whose Broadway production "What the Constitution Means To Me" discusses  "How Women Have Been Profoundly Left Out of the Constitution", as the Fresh Air Heading says. Ms. Schreck talked us through the long arduous constitutional journey from the 1965 Supreme Court Ruling that finally legalized birth control for married women, to legalization of birth control for unmarried women to legalization of abortion in Roe vs. Wade. All 3 of those, decided by Supreme Court justices, all white men, whose premise is that the Constitution protects Privacy.

Ms. Schrek brought to mind a term I have been thinking about for some time. "Privacy Rape".

It's very clear that the public still doesn't get or perhaps laws and the Constitution still fail to protect Privacy: privacy of personal information, the privacy of the person, the privacy of what people do in their lives.

The casual oblivion to matters of privacy was exemplified in a message posted on Facebook by an Executive Director of a major political party directed to a significantly influential political organizer who previously was single-handedly responsible for the election and re-election of hundreds of Democrats from the largest Legislative district to the state Legislation. "We noticed you signed up to volunteer for GOTV. As you know, we've asked you not to volunteer with us anymore. That has not changed. Please don't come into our offices for GOTV." This a post ignoring Privacy violation to publicly shame let alone damage Reputation by an Executive Director giving herself permission to communicate using Facebook.

Privacy is and has been better acknowledged by other politicians, Senator Ted Kennedy in particular. He significantly influenced passage of the Health Insurance Privacy and Portability Act which insures that patients are told about the limitations of information sharing, when the patient has not signed a Consent to Release. HIPPA specifically states that psychotherapy notes are off-limits to those seeking to access HIPPA-protected information, their exclusion hopefully the strength of Kevlar.

But the use of Facebook to casually exploit privacy (and abuse) is reflected in ongoing public permission to minimize privacy. The platform, after all, has repeatedly failed to legitimize complaints from users about personal abuses and the intrusions Facebook used to capitalize on private material as revenue.

Date Rape only became fully acknowledged form of sexual assault after it was given a name. The familiar, the seemingly socially solicitious becoming the sexual perpetrator. The guise of innocence is similarly postured by Facebook users who go onto engage in Privacy Rape or stand passively by as others engage in it too.

On Frontline recently, the Vice-President of Social Good at Facebook Naomi Gleit repeated the company's mission in the wake of the company now beginning to own up to the abuse and violence the platform's unique chemical mixture of anonymity and mathmatical exponents. "Bringing the world closer together" by doing good, she said, is the company's mission. Is it all in the past?

The quest for closeness through sharing information and listening to others is a human magnet for psychological intimacy. It is a magnet that can spiral into voyeurism and Privacy Rape much as physical touch can descend into Date Rape.

That Mark Zuckerberg's team, the company's beatific Vice President of Social Good and others did not consider that something called Privacy Rape could evolve out of anonymous , mathematical exponent-driven information sharing perplexes. History explains that human exploitation is preceded by social shaming, stigma creation and anonymous permission to ostracize. The isolation of Jews in pograms and ghettos came after generations of social stigmata, all of which gave way to exportation to concentration camps. The same could be said of Native Americans and their forced emigration to Reservations . Well-educated, privileged Facebook executives did not- and probably still don't grasp that their mission to create human connection does not undo the power of anonymity and math exponents. as lubricants of abuse.

Like generations before the Supreme Court privacy rulings, Facebook has ignored how their users posts might- and have evolved into- Privacy Rape. Their many, many "This post does not reach the level of abuse" automated replies to complaints echo- the sanctioning of violations of women's privacy- violations of a woman's bodies- violation of the right to privacy.

Despite repeated legal volleys- the Supreme Court has not backtracked on the Constitutional right to privacy. The surreptitious succoring of private information that Facebook freely engaged - like generations before them- says the temptations to transgress in secrecy - abusively- persists among the most privileged and innovative. And in the Facebook users who passively stand by as Privacy Rape continues without posting one word to stop it.

Much is heard about the "new" Republican attack on women,  a  not so thinly veiled attack on credibility, the females’, that is. Women, you may remember require more “proof” that they are telling the truth than men do. Women’s credibility remains the non-credentialed, not appropriately dressed, inarticulate sweetspot where, when hit just right, sexism implants its tendrils and goes viral, its derision entitled, origin unknown, because we are talking abut women.

Many women don’t realize that today’s war on women’s credibility is like that faced by Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas hearing either because they now have credentials that they hope protect their credibility or they were not old enough or not allowed to watch that spectacle as it unfolded on national television in the early 1990’s. During the hearings to admit Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court, Anita Hill, an African-American attorney was subpoenaed to testify about the sexual harassment she endured at his hands at his previous job.

I still have my “I Believe Anita Hill” button. Many women don’t. Many men never got one in the first place. The smug confidence that Clarence Thomas evinced during those hearings has metastasized into complete silence, as he now sits on the Court.  He perhaps  now believes he doesn’t have to say anything  to have credibility as he has not said or asked any questions during the oral arguments for something like 6 years.  

Some believe that blatantly different standards for male and female credibility have gone away. We need go no further than the recent trial of John Edwards for federal campaign law violations for “proof” that sexism’s new  business casual dress does not mean standards have changed. 

Criminal law trials are about credibility. The “designer” proof presented by John Edwards that he was telling the truth was this: A video of his nationally-televised appearance lauded as his moment of truth-telling, the “tell-all” in which he stated that he had a brief affair with Rielle Hunter but it had ended and his unethical staffer had fathered her child.

 This “truth telling” explique was presented  to the jury as evidence that the man before them was really not telling the truth then, even though he said he was before a national television audience, but he was telling the truth now. This, strategized his defense team, was, yes, a wardrobe failure in credibility that would now be restored with that ever-trustworthy safety pin- the fact that John Edwards is a man. They knew that would hold up better than the fact that Edwards is a lawyer. One word captures how a woman engaging in such tactics would be characterized: Flighty!

The Credibility dress standard  is not the same for men and women.  Credibility remains an icon of sexism that presumes that women have to meet different standards of proof than men do.  There are cultural and social questions that we all must ask about the different standards for “proof” that apply to men and women, that are as unfair and unequal now as they were when Anita Hill was subpoenaed to testify about  Clarence Thomas. 

When we ask for proof from men and women, do we ask each of them, equally, no matter what the context, no matter who has been  privileged with the presumptive “truth-teller” status?  When the ” court of public opinion” is courted, really deep down, don't you think you can overlook what she says is true? That what everybody else thinks is better proof?  That any  other truth that she might offer is really just her reaching for a safety pin- when really- there isn’t one big enough to fill the gap?