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Playlist: The Department of Poetic Justice (and Poetic Reckoning)

Compiled By: Susan J. Cook

Lyrics too! "The old gray mare..." Credit: Susan Cook
Image by: Susan Cook 
Lyrics too! "The old gray mare..."

Back in 2013, my collection "Blue: American Sonnets" was entered in a contest sponsored by the Alice James Press. Inspired by myself, here I present my American sonnets , many from "Blue: American Sonnets", odes, lyrical tributes- the emotional angst and pleasure of poetry brought to our longing for justice- for the inexplicable, actions, kind deeds and regular generic political folly of others, including a song and dance section, just as there is in real life, for the musically inclined. Many might be sung to tunes from "The Great American Wrongbook".

Sonnet for President Obama's Tear

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:11

First published on the eve of Martin Luther King Day , we turn to our preferred form of political expression, the sonnet, to acknowledge the compassion President Obama has brought to the Presidency. Today, we offer a "Sonnet for President Obama's Tear''.

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Sonnet for President Obama’s Tear

Susan Cook

 

His tear is for every person lost since

illegal guns became more, much, so much

more available. How do you convince

the NRA these dead are  theirs too? Touch

the darkness of those who will not ever

know who their guns took, experience

wretched calculations of forever’s

duration, time with no end, grief re-sensed.

They calculate abstractly the time passed

for those whose children died, who are not here.

We only know one madman’s moment lasts

lifetimes when we can’t bear Obama’s tear.

Obama’s tear tells what must be retold.

Compassion’s time is for whom the bell tolls.

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning): 'To an Itsy Bitsy Spider'

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:50

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning), The River Is Wide offers a poem that could be sung to the tune from a tune in the public domain, of course, The Itsy Bitsy Spider. With lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook, "To an Itsy Bitsy Spider" is a reflection.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice (and reckoning) with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook

To an Itsy Bitsy Spider

-Susan Cook-

 

To an Itsy Bitsy Spider

 

The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.

Once he was up there no one could get him out.

So they chose him for governor. Now they’re sorry Itsy sits

up there cause the itsy bitsy spider keeps having little fits.

The itsy bitsy spider doesn’t like the income tax

He had an itsy fitsy when his bill could not get passed

So the itsy bitsy spider went looking for revenge

And itsy said he’ll never sign another bill again.

The itsy bitsy spider wanted to reduce

The government budget. Itsy doesn’t have no use

For asylum seekers coming here who’d  like to be

like the itsy-bitsy spider, enjoying liberty.

The itsy bitsy spider forgot it’s not just him

creating legislation. Itsy doesn’t seem to know

he’s not the most important legislator who's around, so

he vetoes everything and tells them no, no, no, no no.

The itsy bitsy spider seems like he's inflated

his own self- importance which is a little over-rated.

It’s a problem that is treated with some sure de-levitators.

That is heading to the State House to deal with Legislators.

The itsy bitsy spider can have a real hard time.

Just like Nikita Khrushchev sometimes you think he’ll pound

his sneaker on the table when he gets very mad. Whoops!

That’s the part we fantasized. Has itsy had past lives?

The itsy bitsy spider did not come out of nowhere.

His message is so simple. You wonder where he found

the voters who believed him. Voters sometimes can be the sucker

now they’re left to try and find a way to impeach… the itsy bitsy spider!

…went up the water spout...


 

In the Department of Poetic Justice (The song and dance genre): All I Want Is My Debt Deferred

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:23

Well, in my state the Maine Center for Public Interest Reporting published a lengthy article about a veteran lawmaker who is strongly supporting a bill to allow copper and zinc mining in pristine rural parts of the state by the brother company of a firm that has forgiven a debt of about $150,000 that the legislator owed the company. In our Department of Poetic Justice (and Poetic Reckoning) we today offer this poem "All I Want Is My Debt Deferred" which can be sung to the tune of "Wouldn't it be loverly" from "My Fair Lady" from The Great American Wrongbook.

Gravelpit2011_small Well, in my state the Maine Center for Public Interest Reporting published a lengthy article about a veteran lawmaker who is strongly supporting a bill to allow copper and zinc mining in pristine rural parts of the state by the brother company of a firm that has forgiven a debt of about $150,000 that he owed the company. In our poetic justice department, we  today offer this poem "All I Want Is My Debt Deferred"  which can be sung to the tune of  "Wouldn't it be loverly" from "My Fair Lady".

“All I want is my debt deferred”
-Susan Cook-
(to the tune of “Wouldn’t it be loverly” from “My Fair Lady”
All I want is my debt deferred
Way up north where I keep my word. 
I don’t down in Augusta.
Forgiving debt is not a crime. 

All I want is my gas bills paid
Irving’s lawyers get off my case.
So I can sleep more calmly.
No, it isn’t bribery.

All I want is a nice new mine
on Bald Mountain. It’s not that fine
an example of  forest. Mining
isn’t larceny.

All I want is the bill to pass.
You know, I like my trout, my bass.
Copper and arsenic in streams
might help other species last. 

I can’t help it if Irving Oil
bought up forests in my home towns7
and what they really want is
me to have my gas station.

What I mean is when I retire
I’ll go home and sit by the fire
And Irving does not want me
worried about unpaid bills.


All they want is Bald Mountain mines,
No one goes there, just porcupines
And moose and deer and beavers.
Jobs are my priority.

As you know, I am not corrupt.
You know I’m not one who will erupt
in public or in meetings, except 
when you’re accusing me.

It’s just that what I really want
is a mine out in my back lot.
I mean Aroostock County.
That’s where my gas station is.

I do not commit larceny,
embezzlement or bribery
I have a private business. 
That is none of your business.

Irving can’t help it if I made
public office my second trade
When I’m not selling gas,
donuts, soda, or Gator-ade.

As I’ve said, I am not a crook.
Ethically, I go by the book.
I wrote it long ago when 
I was Speaker of the House.

Let’s not go there. What Irving wants
is a mine. That is not a crime.
Forgiving debt is kind. And  
all I have to say is it’s lover-ly.
 

"I Wonder Whose Pocket She's In" (The song and dance genre): A Lyrical Tribute to Corporate Influence on Elected Officials

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 05:46

Well, in my state we have a remarkable example of corporations having their way with state legislators to pass a bill that- in the long run did nothing but pay the corporation millions in cashed-in tax breaks. And the two legislators (one from each party) who sponsored the bill got nothing but $16,000 in donations to their personal PACS. This has sparked wonder and awe and inspired a lyrical tribute "I Wonder Whose Pocket She's In" which can be sung to the melody of the 1909 hit song "I Wonder Who's Kissing Her Now", if you like a good song instead of a bracing lyrical poem.

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Well, in my state, we have a remarkable example of corporations having their way with state legislators  to pass a bill that- in the long run- did nothing to solve the problem the bill was supposed to solve. 
Thanks to the investigative reporting of the Maine Sunday Telegram, we know that in 2011 our legislature passed an investment opportunity bill to encourage investors to put their money into low-income communities. All is good.  The problem is, the legislature passed the bill without any requirement that the money the corporation invested (in exchange for tax breaks  equal to 39% of the total investment)  actually be spent on the community  it was supposed to help. And worse- if the corporation didn’t pay any taxes in the state- they could just cash in that 39% of the money they invested for real real dollars.  Thus, a corporate investment which looked like 40 million dollars on paper for a failing Maine paper company ended up with the investors getting 16 million dollars in cashed-in tax breaks, millions to pay off other debts, $8 million for the investment corporation, $500,000 to lawyers and brokers, and a ripe  $16,000 to the two legislative leaders (one from each party)  who sponsored it.  
Why a complex bill was passed without the due diligence that the public trusts legislators to have- is an unknown. We only know the 2 sponsors of the legislation received about 16 thousand dollars for their PACs for sponsoring it and pressuring their colleagues to vote for it.. 
I mean, really only 16 thousand for the two legislators- when millions were being passed from investor to investor?
This sparks wonder which here inspires verse- well, song, if you’re a singer because the verse can also be sung to  the melody from the 1909 song  “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now.” (Check it out on You Tube!)
And so our verse asks  “I Wonder Whose Pocket She’s In”
I Wonder Whose Pocket She’s In
(to the tune of I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now)
I wonder whose pocket he’s in
Now that she’s left office again.
I  suppose that the guys 
whose pockets he  lined 
Still like the paydays 
his decisions inspired.
Electeds aren’t paid all that much
and you know campaigns cost as much
as a lawyers’  down payment
When they’re hired by the complainant
Who’s discovered a problem that the laws
Should have solved.
Campaign contributions go into  remission
When the Federal Election Commission
Puts the numbers online
In a font called  Tiny Fine
And they’re alphanumerically
listed  in rhyme. 
You know  I’m just kidding with that.
You just have to know where they’re at
I mean the descriptor
Of the name of the sister
Of the corporate custodian who works 
weekends sometimes. 
And there on line eight thousand ten
She’s managed to give him again
The monetary limit
For a candidate who’s in it
For the long haul and knows 
his big pay day won’t come…
Til’ he opts to not seek again
The office where he used his pen
To put into place  
the gravy and baste 
the fat critter that some 
Corporation has raised.
Their regulatory dismays 
Resemble a  purgatory in ways
Their  projects go on  hold.
Til the owners grow old
And cannot  recall
The best number to call…
To tweak the one they have  elected 
Who waits at his desk .He’s rejected
a number of bills 
his donors s want killed.
But never when
picturing James, George or Ben.
Which now brings us back to our question
About an elected’s  intention
When citizens call 
and encounter a wall
And the call’s  placed on hold
til  the elected’s  gone home. 
So now he’s back home. Has he been offered
A  job that will top off his coffers.
And soon he can request
the suit lawyers  like best
at Brooks Brothers with  pockets
that won’t cramp his knees or their sockets. 
I wonder whose pocket he’s in
Now that he has  left office again.
I  suppose that the guys 
whose pockets he  lined 
Still like the paydays 
his decisions inspired….

A Sonnet for Negative Ads

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | :57

Sometimes, there is an ineffable quality to the offensiveness of negative campaign ads. We turn here to the sonnet to express deep concern about negative political ads. Thus, for this 2014 Election Campaign season, "A Sonnet for Negative Ads".

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Sonnet for Negative Ads
-Susan Cook-
The ads have turned negative trying to
win votes. They imply it’s Godzilla now
running for office, a gorilla who 
loves big fat liberal doctrines.  Don’t ask how
he says it. Apparently he’s signing.
He’s now been discovered, his cover’s been
blown. He’s taking your tax dollars, mining
social security, this with a  win 
on Tuesday if he's succeeded, deceived
you into thinking he’s really human,
stands on two legs, counting votes he’s  received.
Voters beware! Gorillas are looming.
Out, out with the negative! You’re the real louse,
harming all creatures including the mouse.
 

Sonnet for Gorbachev

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | :57

The vision of Gorbachev now is destroyed by Vladimir Putin. A sonnet will remind us of what Gorbachev made possible and what is now lost by Putin's polarization.

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Sonnet for Gorbachev
In Independence Square that day, her face
held in his hand, they kissed. Back then, detente
protected them, his arm around her waist, 
that year, that day. Cold War memories still haunt
them, when love was impossible, above 
all, she without him, he without her, caught 
in diplomacy. But then Gorbachev
imagined a boy, a girl and love. Arms ought
to be for holding, international 
relations, so Gorbachev created
detente. That day, with things more rational,
in the square, love was reciprocated. 
Putin would like to end such caressing,
love his nemesis, countries confessing. 

Sonnet for the First Fish, Best Fish

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | :51

Sonnets are a way to find optimism in difficult times. This is a sonnet that acknowledges that the first fish is the best fish and can provide for many.

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Sonnet for The First Fish, Best Fish

-Susan Cook-
The first fish is remembered as the best
fish. It is the one that when it was caught
(remember, there were only two, the rest
elusive that day) it ended all thought
and fear they'd  have to go without, suffering
where it didn't need to be, unfounded.
If there was one, there would be enough, bring
in more the next time. We were astounded
that what looked like deprivation for so
long might not be that at all. The first fish
meant that those who had been turned away, no
compassion for their need, could be fed with just this.
The first fish will be the best, where the start
begins, for our minds, the eyes, for the heart. 

Ode to Mr. Roubini's West Grand Lake Bass Update

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:18

In Maine, Bass fishing on West Grand Lake is a destination respite for many, including Mr. Nouriel Roubini, the legendary economist who was almost single-handed in anticipating the 2008 housing collapse and world-wide recession. This "Ode to Mr. Roubini's West Grand Lake Bass " is revisited in the wake of the recent change in , let's say, the landscape under the "River of Financial Abundance".

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ODE TO MR. ROUBINI'S WEST GRAND LAKE BASS REVISITED

MR. ROUBINI, DO  YOU THINK IT WAS THE WEST GRAND LAKE BASS
THAT HELPED YOUR BRAIN CELLS  FORECAST THE 2008 CRASH?
WHEN YOUR FRIENDS HAD IGNORED THE CREDIT DEFAULT SWAP  DERIVATIVES,
AND IN 2009, BEGAN TAKING SELECTIVE SEROTONIN RE-UPTAKE INHIBITORS,
DID YOU GO HOME, OPEN THE FREEZER, REACHING DOWN   PAST  THE CASH,
 GET OUT THE BUTTER, AND SAY "LET'S HAVE SOME MORE BASS!"

LUCKY FOR YOU, SOME BASS STILL REMAINED
FROM YOUR SUMMER FUN FISHING IN GRAND LAKE STREAM, MAINE.
WHICH ALL BRINGS US BACK  TO THE VERY BIG QUESTION
OF INTRODUCING ALEWIVES , NOT YOUR USUAL ECONOMIC REFLECTION.
PLEASE FOCUS  THOSE BRAIN CELLS ON THE FUTURE AND THE PAST.
 TELL US, WILL INTRODUCING ALEWIVES TO THE ST. CROIX RIVER DRIVE OUT  THE BASS?
IF YOU THINK THAT THEY WILL,CALL A MAINE LEGISLATOR AND TAKE SIDES.
THERE ARE  EXPERTS THAT AGREE WITH YOU, THE GRAND LAKE STREAM GUIDES.
THESE ARE THE GUIDES WHO SHOW YOU WHERE TO FIND  BASS
( OMEGA-3S FOR THE MIND ) SO YOU CAN  MAKE A GOOD ECONOMIC  FORECAST.
WE KNOW MR. ROUBINI, YOU DON’T HAVE X-RAY VISION TO HELP YOU DELIVER
AN ASSESSMENT OF THE TOPOGRAPHY UNDER THE 1850'S ST. CROIX RIVER
BUT IF YOU WERE AN ALEWIVE FACING A 20 FOOT INCLINE
DOESN'T THAT  SOUND A LOT LIKE THE STOCK MARKET IN JANUARY 2009?
MR. ROUBINI, THE ONLY WAY FOR THE ALEWIVE IS UP, UP AND UP
BUT FOR ALEWIVES TWENTY FEET IS REALLY QUITE TOUGH.
YES, THERE ARE STRATEGIES, YOUR SPECIAL NICHE
BUT "BUY LOW, SELL HIGH" DOESN'T HELP OUT A FISH.
DON'T WE ALL WISH, GOVERNOR JANET MILLS HAD YOU ON HER SPEED DIAL?
WELL, SHE PROBABLY DOES AND CHECKS IT EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE.
MR. ROUBINI, MANY THINK THE COUNTRY CAN'T MISS
WITH YOU  ON HER SPEED DIAL AND YOUR WEST GRAND LAKE FISH.
MR. ROUBINI, YES, THERE ARE THE CRAPPIES AND LITTLE  SMALL TROUT
(AND NO, WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY WILL  VOTE.)
YOUR TASTE BUDS ARE NURTURED ON MICHELIN 5 STAR CLASS
SO THAT MEANS NOTHING  QUITE SUITS YOU LIKE A WEST Grand Lake Bass.

The 2022 Prologue,

Mr. Roubini, time to fire up the grill,
Get out your best marinade, put the Allagash on chill.
Your very best guide in this time of ticker tape upheaval
is not Bloomberg News or today's Wall Street Journal.
To keep your title as Dr. West Grand Lake Bass,
your Omega-3s jumping, still saving our last
nickels and dollars from going out with the tide,
go to www.grandlakestreamguides."


The 2023 Addendum:

Mr. Roubini , there's truth 
and then there's fiction
And then there's The Maine Legislature
Which some people  consider an affliction.
Well,  wrap your mind around the latest proposed bill 
To eliminate Bass fishing in some rivers
 by removing  any  and all existing  restriction .
So any hope we might have that  Novavax executives
Might sneak up to Maine and chow down 
on your favorite Omega 3 derivative 
Or some from AstraZeneca, Crisper
 or  others in the biotech sector,
Or  Biogen  now that everyone's not
 referring to it with an expletive.
We might see their stocks  soar 
or we might go so far as to say ,
By eating Maine bass, they will salvage
 the company’s fiscal
Hope for a 20 percent rise
 not only in workplace serenity 
But in their  52 week high 
reported by none other than Kai Rysdal.
Mr Roubini, the Registered Maine Guides 
will make room in the hearing room
So your testimony  insures LD 537 redacted 
by Maine’s elected political hackers.


As ever, Mr. Roubini, time to fire up the grill,
Get out your best marinade, put the Allagash on chill.
Your very best guide in this time of ticker tape upheaval
is not Bloomberg News or today's Wall Street Journal...
to keep your title as Dr. West Grand Lake Bass,
your Omega-3s jumping, still saving our last
nickels and dollars from going out with the tide,
go to www.grandlakestreamguides." 

-SUSAN COOK-

In The Department of Poetic Justice (The song and dance genre): "Donald J. Trump"

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:46

In Today's Department of Poetic Justice, The River Is Wide offers a musical tribute to 'Donald J. Trump' to the tune of 'Seventy Six Trombones'. from that all-American treasure Broadway. Sing it if you're in the mood for song. Say it if you feel like no one is telling the truth.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice

‘Donald J. Trump’

To the tune of ‘Seventy Six Trombones’

A Musical Tribute
 from Susan Cook

 

Donald J. Trump says he doesn’t want to see

Anymore Muslims come to his country.

He wants to know what the hell is really going on

Since he thought that there was nothing wrong.

Donald J. Trump has now found his perfect mate.

A different circumstance, she could have had a date

With that old New York Stallion that used to go a-tailing

Twenty-something clones of Sarah Palin.

Donald J. Trump does not like scenarios

Where he’s disempowered , is not allowed to blow

Up and explode if he’s confronted with the truth

That he’s got no idea and doesn’t know

How Donald J. Trump would get terrorists to stop

Since militants hide before you can kick their ass

What Donald J. Trump has not said but

What he’s planning on is he’ll call a New York City cop.

Donald J. Trump does not like to plan ahead

He is a man of action who’ll act instead

Like the extensive record of Donald J. Trump

Placing his head adjacent to his rump.

Which Donald J. Trump thinks is such a special feat

For someone who won’t do yoga and likes to eat

It means he can still perform like when he was back in heaven

Watching models BLANK at New York’s Club Fifty Seven.


Donald J. Trump is not dating currently. Decadent

He won’t be. He’s running for President

Which brings up a favorite topic

That Hillary ignores ,’When did she realize Bill had a taste for..


Donald J. Trump will tell Hillary what side is up.

Donald J. Trump has been there. He lapped it up.

Whenever his wives found out, he took the only decent course.

He said ‘Sue me. Where is my divorce.’


Donald J. Trump thinks he thinks presidentially.

He is excited. Coincidentally,

He is adopting a son to tell what Presidents should know.

His name is Mayor Bill Diblasio.


Donald J. Trump wants America to know

He has admired Muslims especially when they go

marry another woman and do not have to hire

a lawyer just because Donald J. Trump was feeling bored and tired.

In The Department of Poetic Justice (with lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook): "Donald J. Trump- The Evangelical Version" (The song and dance genre)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:59

In Today's Department of Poetic Justice (and The Great American Wrongbook), "Donald J. Trump- The Evangelical Version" which could be sung to the tune from "Seventy Six Trombones" from that Broadway treasure 'The Music Man' . Remember the story? A man goes to River City, Iowa where he intends to slam-dunk the town into giving him their most valuable asset to buy uniforms for a grand blustery band but abscond with the money before forming the band. Or you can just read the words silently to yourself.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning) and for The Great American Wrongbook
‘Donald J. Trump- The Evangelical Version’
To the tune of ‘Seventy Six Trombones’
A Musical Tribute


Donald J. Trump is a Presbyterian
because he believes God thinks they’re superian.
God’s second preference is like Mr. Falwell
knows is to be an Evangelical.


Evangelist thinking’s slightly different
than Donald J. Trump’s. They think it’s significant
That their daughters are pure which has a special kind of meaning
Which Donald J. Trump finds a little Muslim-ish and boring.

Of course that does not mean Mr. Falwell can’t
have admiration for those religious rants
Donald J. Trump gets into . The man’s got fire and brim
which Mr. Falwell finds exciting when they’re about women

That Donald J. Trump has dated. They were temporary
while he contemplated entering seminary,
a thought he abandoned when he learned they had a rule
he could not bring his hairdresser along too.

Donald J. Trump left out biographically
His religious predilections and his fantasies
And now that he's planning on becoming President
He wants America to see his deep ambivalence

When Donald J. Trump ignored his religiousness
Mr. Falwell knows things God  would never bless
Of course, after he victimized those models by watching them as they were getting LA____
Donald J. Trump now says went he outside afterwards and he prayed.

At least that’s what Donald J. Trump will surely tell
Evangelicals. They don’t vote for Presidents who are headed straight for hell.
Security cameras did not exist at Studio Fifty Four
And Evangelicals could not even get in the door.

But America should not hold its collective breath
to find out if Donald J. Trump has now actually confessed
To religious propensities like getting down and praying
At Studio Fifty Four .You don’t suppose he was doing a little master…

Donald J. Trump hopes praises from Evangelicals
will give him their vote,and save him from being sent to hell
Coincidentally, he might rename his tower "Nobis Deus"
capturing Italian votes as well.

In the Department of Poetic Justice 'L-I-M-B-O' A Tribute to a Fictional Radio Host (The song and dance genre)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:25

From the Department of Poetic Justice, here at The River Is Wide , we offer an original composition, titled 'LIMBO'. There is such confusion and frenzy in Presidential politics right now. It's time to turn to the comfort of an old familiar tune, BINGO, with new words, composed as a musical tribute to a fictional radio host named 'Rushton Limbo' . Here is the poetic and lyrical song called 'LIMBO'.

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L-I-M-B-O-

A Musical Tribute to Rushton Limbo, a fictional Radio Host

To the tune of the song ‘BINGO’

 

-Susan Cook-

 

There was a guy named Donald Trump. He’s now a big problem.

He says he is Republican but really he’s a DEM.

Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

Mitt Romney said Trump has small hands just like the Democrats

Your pockets Donald Trump will pick and tax and tax and tax.

Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

Mitt is a Mormon, kind of like an Evangelical. Mitt didn’t know picked

pockets anatomically related to the Donald’s …

Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

I’m feeling rather horrified . Republicans steal my negativity

My radio shows’ copyright. They’re using it for free.

Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

What’s his name from Ohio, Ted Cruz and Rubio, did not use proper logic like I do on radio.

If Donald Trump can do it, I can run for President, broadcast from the White House since I’ll be the resident.

Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

I have a simple strategy. It is my campaign trick. To get me to the White House I will win come thin or thick.

Save us from Bill and Hillary. Right wing the Republic. My promise is to ban debate about the Donald’s ..

Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo ‘s where I remain.

I never thought anatomy was Presidential news and actually I hated Bill and Hilary as well.

Now we have Republicans who bring it up again. They think it is essential for the votes they’ll need to win.

Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo ‘s where I remain.

Republicans compare these thing. Why couldn’t they keep still.

Instead we lost our biggest condemnation to vote against Hillary and Bill.

Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo ‘is my new name.

In the Department of Poetic Justice: LIMBO, A Musical Tribute (The Leave It To Beaver version with song and dance)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:53

In today's Department of Poetic Justice, we offer a musical tribute to a fictional radio host, Rushton Limbo, who poetically longs for the respite of television watching and the iconic "Leave It To Beaver".

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L-I-M-B-O-
A Musical  Tribute to Rushton Limbo, a fictional Radio Host-
The Leave It To Beaver Version
To the tune of  the song ‘BINGO’
-Susan Cook-
My name is Rushton Limbo. I have a big TV.
It’s not nearly as interesting as listening to me.
But lately I’ve been thinking
So fascinatingly
Of turning on my TV, a little break for me.
Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

‘Leave It to Beaver’ is still on. I will be watching him.
Ward Cleaver is a lot like me
Way back when I was slim.
I’d like to watch some re-runs.  I don’t go on the web.
Especially the one of a President, denying he had sex.
Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

I have the fondest memories.  A nice big scrapbook too.
Of pictures of a girl from then.
I bet you know her too. Please join me in remembering
We’ll hold our nose together. As we recall repulsively
What our country had to weather.
Oh, L--I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, is my name.

My moral sensibilities were shaken to the core,.
Oh why couldn’t Newt Gingrich
Get Bill Clinton out the door. So un presidentially, his index
Finger pointed, he even lied to you and me
Said he did not have sex.
Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

I’ll get out my old videos.. They help me to relax,
less turmoil, at least nobody has brought out a blue dress.
My job gets harder everyday. With the GOP's big clammor,
Where did Mitch and Newtie go, with Hastert in the slammer?
Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.

The only thing I have to do is think of Hillary.
Can’t  raise my Prozac dose Higher,
lest I  end up asking her on my show.
I need some comfort  now that the GOP’s upended,
a little harmless Beaver. Don’t go there, no pun intended.
Oh, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, L-I-M-B-O, Limbo is my name.
 

A Citizen’s Guide to Small-minded Denigration: A Sixty Second Moral Inquiry, Two and ½ Minute Conspiracy Theory presented in a Sonnet for The Department of Poetic Justice

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:34

In honor of the upcoming Presidential race, The River Is Wide presents a melding of our favorite features. A Citizen's Guide, A Sixty Second Moral Inquiry and Two and 1/2 Minute Conspiracy Theory presented in a Sonnet to place In the Department of Poetic Justice. Random The River Is Wide Series is not.
The topic:
A Citizen’s Guide to Small-minded Denigration (or a Conspiracy to Throw the Ethical Female Presidential Candidate Under the Bus for what She has Never Done).

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A Citizen’s Guide to Small-minded Denigration  (or a Conspiracy to Throw the Ethical Female Presidential Candidate Under the Bus for what She has Never Done):
A Sixty Second Moral Inquiry, Two and ½ Minute Conspiracy Theory presented in a Sonnet for The Department of Poetic Justice
Diligent Presidents also can be
women. Intelligently, insightful,
reliable, prestigious, humanly
accomplished, with sound judgment? Delightful!
What will have nothing to do with the job
she will do is the employee who lacked
judgment and chose a sick ex-husband, robbed 
sense.  The staffer, small-minded, at the back
of the  bus, the Opponent now sinks to
say, should be used to run out the admired
Woman, who should be President, linked to
small mindeds just because of who she hired.
Hostile cruel minds Either sex can be numb.
Formidable President?  She’s the one.

Sonnet for the US Ducks Independently Verified to Have been Neither Forcefed for Foie-Gras Production Nor Plucked of Their Feathers and Down During Their Lifetime

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:17

A United States outdoor clothing store sells coats, labelled to assure us that the down is from US Ducks Independently Verified to Have been Neither Forcefed for Foie-Gras Production Nor Plucked of Their Feathers and Down During Their Lifetime. Scott Pruitt who sued the Environmental Protection Agency over a dozen times has been installed as the agency's head. In reading the label on a down coat, I have found consolation, hope and small victory that our environmental sensibilities will survive, sentiments presented here in a sonnet, in the Department of Poetic Justice.

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Sonnet for the US Ducks Independently Verified
to Have been Neither Forcefed for Foie-Gras Production
Nor Plucked of Their Feathers  and Down During  Their Lifetime
-Susan Cook-

I want these ducks to know my faith in our
country has been re-nourished by this feat
when they grow the down , in their pro-life hour
in their solitary stance against the elite
practices that feed the rich while the ducks
live lives of strangulation, the minute’s
peace, lost, the moment when the neck curves, tucks
itself inside the plush gift. Diminish
the significance of the gift, the down’s weight,
the coat that will keep anyone warm, no
matter their social standing, EPA
head or not? Surely, they’re not our new foe.
Even ducks saved from force feeding won’t feed
you, Mr.Pruitt, your stick figure needs.

"My Funny I.T. Guy" To the Tune of "My Funny Valentine'' (The song and dance genre)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:08

A musical tribute to "My Funny I.T. Guy" . Blackberry phones - like former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had- used to be considered difficult to hack. The F.B.I. - having revealed their lack of technological competence very recently- now claims with conviction that her emails could have been hacked even though they have found no evidence of that and found fewer than 10 out of 30,000 emails worthy of a higher level of security- afterwards.

If the FBI now has new information technology sophistication, why don't they spend our taxpayer dollars on getting rid of truly offensive material anonymously sent in emails.

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'My Funny I.T. Guy'
to the tune of My Funny Valentine
-Susan Cook- 

 
My Funny I.T.  guy
now at the F.B.I. ,
Blackberries are hackable ?
I've  always  read they weren't
I.T. guy, now it hurts.
You said they are. Are you sure?
They're made in Can-
ada. They are our biggest fan.
Thank God it's  not an I-phone.
You'd be back at Square One 
If Hillary won't come
clean about  her password then.
My funny I.T. guy
you'd  only have 10 tries.
Then there'd be  nothing  to hide.
What were there  5 or 6   
of 30, 000 mixed 
in ambiguously?
Oh Funny I.T. guy,
you seem cyber-deprived.
Mr.Tech  That's what you got.
Haven't you ever read
what Sherlock Holmes once said
the apparent's hard to find.  
Now you're not trying to bump
you-know-who, tiny jump
so he'll keep you on the job.
So much for McAfee, Norton
catastrophes,
why wasn't Bill back at home
clicking on  Update Now,
Power Eraser wow, 
to pick off those sneaky bugs.
The ones the Ruskis left 
inside the server, heck,
most likely women so  hot,
I mean the Russian ones, waiting for 
what you've been looking for.
Where were you, I.T. guy.
My funny I.T. guy
why can't you 
find out why
The F.B.I. 
can't dissolve 
emails for enhancement,
enlargement, 
romance meant,
for real, our time, by cupid sent. 
Since you can't seem to find 
Hillary undermined
or got hacked for anything, 
My funny I.T. guy,
now at the  F.B.I.
why can't you  try to find
Who's struggling to find
who's cheating 
on your time
my funny I.T. guy. 

A Musical Tribute to the 2016 Presidential Primaries: "Tonight" (The song and dance genre)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:22

The River Is Wide today offers a musical tribute to the 2016 Republican primaries to the tune of "Tonight" from the Broadway musical "West Side Story." The tribute is called '"Tonight".

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‘Tonight- A Musical Tribute to the 2016 Republican Pirmaries’

To the tune of ‘Tonight’ from West Side Story

-Susan Cook-

Tonight, tonight,

won’t be just any night.

Tonight we will be hearing

more news.

Voters don’t want

a President named Cruz

or Rubio politically,

who can’t tie their shoes.

At least, it seems

that way when voters

see the screws

now coming loose

When Rubio or Cruz

Tell them the truth

On what it is they’ d do

As president, what they’d choose.

If they can win.

But anyway they lose,

wondering what

Jesus would do.

Instead, they bring

Mitt Romney back

to soothe

them in his familiar voice

So similar to

An information

-ad

for laxatives

to re---move

You-Know-Who,

toooooo-night.

There's a Hole in Your Ozone, Mr. President (from The Great American Wrong book and The Dept of Poetic Justice)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:52

Recently, millions protested government inaction on climate change and global warming. Let us find words to help the current administration grasp what global warming will end.

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There’s a Hole in Your Ozone, Mr. President
(sung to the tune of "There's a Hole in Your Bucket"

-Susan Cook-
There’s a hole in your ozone,
Mr. President, Mr. President,
There’s a hole in your ozone,
We will soon wash away.

Denial,  the logic, you’re using
Mr. President, Mr. President,
The logic you’re using is 
as small as a pea.


Not that kind,
Mr. President, Mr. President,
Not that kind, Mr. President,
No prostate involved.


It will hurt your golf course,
Mr. President, Mr. President,
It will hurt your golf course,
It will be washed away.


And even the women,
The hot ones, the hot ones
won’t like it, Mr. President
It will get their clothes wet.


Viagra won’t fix it,
Mr. President, Mr. President,
Viagra won’t fix it
Or put it back up.


No concrete and rebar,
Mr. President, Mr. President,
No concrete and rebar
Can patch up this hole.


Climatology is the word
For the science,
explaining why one more
degree is too hot.


I know that’s surprising,
Mr. President, Mr. President,
It’s totally different
Than women you’ve known.


This kind of hot,
Mr. President, Mr. Tillerson,
Is not one your EPA chief
Likes in a chick.


No matter how much
Mr. Tillerson, Mr. Tillerson
Earns for his shareholders
The world will still pay.


When climate change happens
Your cabinet spouses
Will act just like icicles
They’ll say it’s too hot.


There goes procreation,
Sexual recreation,
No physical actions,
They’ll all be too hot.


Colloquial meaning of hot
will have transformed.
 You’ll wish that your women
Were icy instead.


Even polar bears could teach
you Mr. President,
Too much of a good thing
Will take it away.


The Environment
shouldn’t be your next paycheck
Ivanka’s, Jared’s,
Tiffany’s or Exxon’s.


There’s a hole in your ozone,
Mr. President, Mr. Tillerson,
There’s hole in your ozone .
Wake up and feel the heat.

"You Scratch My Back, I'll Scratch Yours" In the Dept. Of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:48

In the Department of Poetic Justice, we offer a poetic tribute to the complex topic of hiring candidates for government jobs who carry heavy political indebtedness. Might be sung to the tune of "Love and Marriage" which was written for a 1938 production of Thornton Wilder's "Our Town".

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In the Department of Poetic Justice
‘You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Your Back’
To the tune of Love and Marriage, 
a song written for a 1955 production of Thornton Wilder's 'Our Town'
-Susan Cook-
You scratch my back, I’ll scratch your back
Julius Caesar didn’t take the right tack,
Handing out some big jobs might  
Help Brutus fix the numbers and do the  math right.
One for you and one for me, I guess
It’s kindness, a certain specialty, 
political repayment
In the form of six figure paycheck improvement.  
You did my way, I did your way,
Surprise, surprise, I’m ready for my payday,
Call me clever, greedy,
Pick me, amigo, I’m feeling needy.
Just remember, when you cover
my butt, I  certainly will re-consider
yours when you’re caught lying, 
vote trading,  need some good denying .
Exculpation, exoneration
Pardoning  in any situation,
You for me, no matter
Who else gets nailed- My checkbook fatter.
This is not Ukraine, or Moscow, 
Putin territory, where you might go
Hoping for some bribing 
In Maine, it’s done through legal hiring.
Advocacy, conspiracy,
Cover my butt, six figures should do that nicely,
I’ll advocate so publicly, 
for your job, with the DEP or maybe public utilities.  
You scratch my back, I’ll scratch your back
Julius Caesar didn’t take the right tack,
Handing out some big jobs might  
Help Brutus fix the numbers and do the  math right.

In the Department of Poetic Justice: We'll Give You A Job (The song and dance genre)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:47

In the Department of Poetic Justice, as we say "Sayonara" to Tom Price, government jobs distributed as they may be, a poetic tribute called "We'll Give You A Job" which might be sung to the tune "Home on the Range".

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In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Poetic Reckoning)
"We'll Give You A Job"
-Susan Cook-
To the Tune of "Home on the Range"
Oh, we'll give you a job
where the fat salaries are
and the pay is the highest you've had,
where seldom is heard, your skills being what they are,
what's required to get hired for this?
Jobs can be arranged,
if you do what I want when I say.
That may entail, never saying my name,
making sure our connection not clear.
Oh, jobs can be arranged,
where rewards will be dear
for your silence. Don't mention my name,
and the rest of your friends, we know what they will do
but remember they didn't tell you.
Jobs can be arranged
because I'm at the top of my game
and you and I  won't get caught with our hand in the pot.
It's your friends who are busy all day.
Yes, jobs can be arranged,
I forget what job you did, before you
rose up on my radar screen.
 Since you did just what I said, my involvement well hid,
You did landscaping,  now I recall.
Oh, we'll give you a job
where the fat salaries are
and the pay is the highest you've had,
where seldom is heard, since your skills are what they are,
is he minimally qualified for this?








In the Department of Poetic Justice- 'Casino' (The song and dance genre)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:19

In the Department of Poetic Justice, a poetic tribute to longings for a casino.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice
‘Casino’
To the tune from ‘Maria’
-Susan Cook-

Casino, two guys who I know like Casinos
And suddenly I see how much they mean to me
right now. Me hired,
For a job,  somewhat bizarre. Oh, casino,
I had hoped my day’d come,  if I just played it dumb,
Oh, casino. 
And when complaints come in as public advocate,
regulations change, utility permits,
the neighbors might complain,
You’ll see the fix.  I’m in,  Casino. Just then
Dollar bills coming in,
If only I had known,
how much my bank book grown,
Casino.
And when people complain,
Just then I’ll mute my phone.
Casino.

In the Department of Poetic Justice: The Bills Are Alive to Get Rid of Healthcare (The song and dance genre)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:00

Congress has taken on eliminating affordable health insurance coverage for all citizens. For many, this year is 'anno horribilis'. In the Department of Poetic Justice, we observe possible outcomes of the proposed plans- still in flux- and explore the implications.

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The Bills Are Alive… To Get Rid of Health Care..
To the tune of ‘The Hills Are Alive’ from the Sound of Music
-Susan Cook-

The bills are alive to get rid of health care
with words that exclude 
for a hundred years
your arthritic knees, your heart palpitations,
the caratoid plaque
stopping your blood flow.

Since you’re too young for hip replacements, 
dental implants, colonoscopy, 
you won’t have to think
about how to pay for them
unless it’s an emergency.

So what if Mitch McConnell has his hemorrhoids
Something that just might happen to you.
Yours are very different 
in his health care proposal
Itchy butt? Preexisting?
No surgery for you!

Crisis management won’t effect  you . 
No anxious nights wondering how to pay  
for Health care. Morticians 
remind you: when you die, 
it’ll be just like you never knew.

There’s a chance all this might depress you
And your Zoloft has not changed a thing,
If you start self-medicating, drinking fifths of tequila
You’re on your own,
no in-patient  detox for you.

Unless you’ve paid for expensive premiums
And are insured for two thousand a month.
Oh Cigna, Aetna, Anthem, Republicans 
in Congress  
are always there for you.

You aren’t a free-loading Socialist are you?
You know Donald Trump
doesn’t like them any more.
That’s why he’s proposing
The American Health Care Act
To kill off those he can’t manage to deport.

Susan Collins steps up pretending 
That she thinks health care 
is a good idea
Now that she’ll be leaving the Senate ending
Years of voting down 
health care bills that were completely fair. 


She and her husband, I guess that’s
 how they’re related
can get health care in retirement
You’ve  paid for it for her so very nicely
With every nickel, dollar, dime 
that she voted to tax. 

Next time an obese wealthy  Republican 
-I’m not talking about you-know-who-
gets Medicare, 
unsurprisingly
to pay for multiple bypass surgeries,

Just remember to thank us for buying 
The surgical intervention for him . 
Aren’t we kind, 
nice and generous? 
I’m talking about good old me and you?  

The lazy ones who don’t have unions
Or work at companies just too small  
to give coverage to their employees 
WTF, why do you keep trying to make 
the Republicans 
Give to you after all?

The bills are alive to get rid of health care
with words that exclude 
for a hundred years
your body, your health, your expectations
That the richest country in the world
Would  take care of you.










In the Department of Poetic Justice: "Scurrilious, Mr. Sessions said!" (The song and dance genre)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:00

The Senate Intelligence Committee hearings about Russian meddling in the 2016 election are Scurrilous one especially important testifier said.

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Scurrilous
-Susan Cook-
To the 1921 tune of ‘Baby Face’
In honor of the testimony
before the Senate Intelligence Committee of
Attorney General Jeff Sessions
Scurrilous, you got me thinking this is
Scurrilous
You ask me questions
That I’ve already
told you before
I had no prior
knowledge for.
Squirrelish, you treat me just like I am
Squirrelish
Like I am running off
To hide something
in the backyard
Nuts, acorns,
I would not go that far.
Un furl-it, that’s what I do
With my flag, back at home
In Alabama, I mean my Old Glory,
Our country’s flag,
I don’t let her secrets
out of the bag.
Churlish, I know I seem a little
Churlish and
No, I’m not like that when
Russians came to the GOP
Convention,
So they can party with me.
Girlish, that Susan Collins, was so
girlish  when she told you
that I’m a decent, good
Hail fellow well met,
a.k.a Donald Trump’s favorite bet
For credibility
Now that it turns out Putin
Likes the inside track
 He won’t get from me,
Executive privilege, gee,
The Tiffany of privacy.

Scurrilous, you got me thinking this is
Scurrilous
You ask me questions
That I’ve already
told you before
I had no prior
knowledge for.

 

In the Department of Poetic Justice (The song and dance genre): "We're Going To Show You", after The Republican Senate Healthcare Bill

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:47

Now that the Republicans have rolled out the Senate version of Healthcare, a poetic tribute which could be sung to the tune of 'Getting to Know You' from "The King and I".

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"We’re Going to Show You"
In the Department of Poetic Justice
-The song and dance genre-
To the tune of ‘Getting to Know You’ from "The King and I"
-Susan Cook-

We're going to show you
now that the bill's in our hands.
We're going to show you, now
it's our time to grandstand.
Our healthcare bill
is Big pharma's special prize,
restoring our friends, the GOP  who’ve
been suffering from You Know Who.
We’ll not show him, no surprize.
^^^^
We’re taking our time,
we've been working real late,
how to give tax breaks
trying to calculate, how we can make sure
every nickel and dime
the rich have spent
on healthcare  problems, all tax deductions,
and won't give a cent
to those who don't have a dime.
^^^^
We are not greedy. 
You will not have any time,
to make calculations,
or to find reason or rhyme
for our deletion of Planned Parenthood funds,
while we give millions to wealthy men
each variation of pee-
nile correction, all paid for,
No condoms for girls.
^^^^
We cannot help it,
if  working people get sick.
If they were richer, maybe the idea would stick,
that subsidizing Insurance is bad for them.
They should be paying
Cigna, Anthem, as much as possible
Just so they can
Pay CEO’s millions,
Mostly they’re men.
^^^^
Senator Collins is female
as you all know
She doesn’t like it 
when the whole Senate can’t vote
So in committee she’ll vote yes
when she said
That she opposes a certain bill,
Votes to affirm it, forgets what she said.
With healthcare, oh well, you could be dead.
^^^^
The US Senate
is not a hospital ward,
Outpatient treatment, day surgery
Elective or more
Invasive procedures. Those are your problem my friend,
And when Bill Gates, Exxon, Mobil Oil Corp,
Other big earners get more and more
Tax cuts, Mitch says that’s your cure.
^^^^
We are not sorry if your health premiums go up.
The free lunch is over,
You will be sucking it up,
When your insurance costs
you more than a house.
Well, yes it’s starting to look that way,
Maybe it’s time for you to just say,
where’s China, Liberals in exile.
^^^^
This is our country,
Mitch and the Senators know
That’s why they run it
as if you have to be told
Your health dilemmas
make you seem like a wimp.
The only people who should be healthy
And strong, white wealthy men, ok, Betsy Devos,
Ivanka, Tiffany also.
^^^^ 

In the Department of Poetic Justice (from The Great American Wrongbook): Donald Trump's Executive Order Recently Filed; Your Colonoscopy is Driving Him Wild

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:43

Why haven't pharmaceutical companies and oil corporations been asked to make health insurance lower by reducing drug costs or refusing federal subsidies? A poetic tribute to Trump's Executive Order Gutting Affordable Care Act health mandates just like GOP Healthcare Bill Would. Still "Your Colonoscopy Drives Trump and the GOP Wild", in the Department of Poetic Justice -The Song and Dance Genre.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice - The Song and Dance genre
Donald Trump’s Executive Order Recently Filed; Your Colonoscopy Is Driving Him Wild
To the tune of ‘For Me and My Gal’
-Susan Cook-


Your colonoscopy is driving him wild.
Donald Trump’s Executive Order recently filed
Excludes provisions to subsidize
Exploratory tools that just might find

More G-I problems. They’ll refuse to pay.
You’ll have to fork out more money that way,
In other words health insurance costs
Are your own problem , says Mr. McConnell, to his boss.

The Federal Deficit is intricately tied
To your intestines, surprise. Surprise
Mr. McConnell and his Senate guys
Refuse to authorize or subsidize


Physical problems. Your body’s your own
Except for women. Or Big Pharma
Who wants you to loan
Your blood sugar, neurons, arthritic bones

So they can find hew drugs you’ll take at home
The Federal Dollars will not be substantially spent
On health care for Americans. Just tell me when
Did they become more important then


ExxonMobil, Tillerson’s fracking friends,
Eleven billion in subsidies sent
To colleagues of Tillerson and their friends
So they can see what might be down in there


Kind of like colonoscopy for the Earth
Money well spent, Republicans have said
But just remember. Please don’t forget
No condoms, birth control for Planned Parenthood


That drives the deficit, brings us to the brink
Financial disaster, Thank God the GOP
saved Big Pharmaceutical’s tail, ExxonMobile , too.
Financial ruin all because of you.


Your colonoscopy is driving him wild.
Donald Trump’s Executive Order recently filed
Excludes provisions to subsidize
Your health too, Mr. and Mrs. America, hope you don’t lose your mind.

In the Department of Poetic Justice (The song and dance genre): You Don't Know This But You're Making the Federal Deficit Too High

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:54

The Senate and House Healthcare bills will replace Obamacare subsidies with tax breaks for the wealthy. Meanwhile oil and gas companies continue to receive billions in federal subsidies for oil and gas fracking and exploration.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice (The song and dance genre)
“You Don’t Know This But You're Making the Federal Deficit Too High"”
To the tune of ‘You are 16 going on 17’
From the ‘Sound of Music”
-Susan Cook-
You don’t know this
but you’re making
the Federal Deficit
Go higher
than the GOP
can stand.
Why don’t you just confess?
Health insurance
is expensive.
When government pays out
That means the final
tally 
will be
as red as
Rudolph’s nose gets.
Mitch McConnell
likes his paycheck
and full health coverage.
He is a Senator
and you know,
he deserves
your last red cent.
He would rather
Exxon Mobil
Get subsidies instead,
Fracking, attacking, so
they won’t be lacking
Gas for their
SUVS.
Twenty-one
billion to Exxon-
from good old me and you.
Taxpayer dollars,
Their share is taller.
While You want
health care for free.
Mr Tillerson says ‘Oh no’.
He’s seen their
bank checkbook,
delegates overseeing
The small print
To What-his-name, if his
recall is spotty at all,
It just because he forgets.

Maybe he is stressed out,
needs a break
from the scrutiny.
His health insurance
Covers the cost
If he needs
some therapy.
If you’re feeling
stressed because your
insurance is too high,
visualize your
Generous side.
You’re helping Exxon to find-
More reserves of
Oil, gas. Pat yourself
on the back.
Oh I forgot, sacro-illiac
Pain has got you
Disabled.
Too bad buster,
Mitch can’t muster
Subsidies
To pay for
Your premiums. I’ll say it again,
Federal deficits are too high.
You don’t know this
but you’re making
the Federal Deficit
Go higher than
the GOP can stand.
Why don’t you just confess?

In the Department of Poetic Justice (the song and dance genre) : What Do We Owe You?

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:47

"What Do We Owe You?" This poetic tribute to the failure of the Republican sponsored bill to end healthcare for millions of Americans- could be sung to the tune from "Getting to Know You" . Hint-!!! What do they owe you? Not healthcare!

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In The Department of Poetic Justice
A Poetic Tribute to the Failure of the GOP Bill to Replace Obamacare
What Do We Owe You?
To the tune ‘Getting to Know You’
From My Fair Lady
-Susan Cook
What do we owe you
Nothing as far as we know.
What do we owe you
Don’t ask because we’ll say No.
Our GOP colleagues
Think your health care  is not
Something  we’ll give you.
Our wealthy friends
Tell us they’re struggling just to make ends
meet. Your body? Not ours to mend.

****
Mr. McConnell told us
we don’t have to vote
To buy insurance to cover
your tail. We got
two more elected
Senators, our fall guys,
To say no way will they ever vote
for this bill. No, we didn’t choke.
Obama care- we still will revoke.

****
Someday we’re going to
Repeal this terrible plan.
To help you buy coverage.
You know that Medicare
Was a terrible idea.
Thirty  million or more
who would have no
healthcare if we dumped
Obamacare. No, we have not jumped
ship. Someday we will get there.

****
There is a mountain. After we  vote
To repeal
Obamacare
You should absolutely go there.
Since Mitch McConnell will be
On display
He’s such a Great American guy
who always gives it the old college try.
Mt. Rushmore. There with the other four guys.

****

We are not saying
that it will take a long time.
We mean the carving of his image
Into stone.
Obamacare will hopefully
be repealed
by then, replaced with something
we like. More and more tax cuts,
give Bill Gates a break.
Well, not him, he’d just give it away.

****
We'll See you when we
consider a health bill again,
Yes, one more time
we will be trying. By then
We will have convinced 
one or two more of our guys
with  chutzpah. This is not Israel,
France, Germany, or any of the countries,
with free healthcare,
Ninety percent of the western hemisphere.

''Bannon's Farewell Pose'' to the tune of ''I'll Be Seeing You''! Lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook!

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:18

In the Department of Poetic Justice, to the tune from 'I'll Be Seeing You', an Ohm for Mr. Bannon, updated now that he refuses an Insurrection Day subpoena.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice:
"Bannon's Farewell Pose"
A Poetic Tribute to the Departure of Mr. Bannon’
To the Tune from ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’
-Susan Cook-
Scaramucci didn’t read between the fine lines,
called reporters back, still read things in The New York Times,
I didn’t ever bother,
I never used words like suck or cock.
I’m a journalist.
You know I just like to talk.

I am Presidential. I think that came through.
Yes I’m allergic to
Certain foods, mold, cat dander too.
That’s why my nose looked stuffy
Kind of red, yes, my eyes too,
never got a chance to Photoshop my best side for you.

Then there’s Sean Spicer, Reince Pribus , they both do
A certain kind of yoga pose,
I’ll tell you just between us too,
I think yoga is liberal , Mahatma Gandhi had his version too
Who’d do that kind of thing?
Alt-left wingers ok Melania, too.

There might be a version made for alt-right guys
Politically on target
Where you keep your ammo by your side
I won’t have that much time,
I am not planning to retire
I’ll be back at Breitbart,
White guys only need apply.



Scaramucci may be starting his own studio,
Sean Spicer, Reince, maybe even
Mitch McConnell  might decide to go
And when the class is over
Lying in Shavasana,
They will all be chanting
Three times,
What happened,
Ohm, Ohm, Ohm, Ohm.


UPDATED!! For the Insurrection Committee Subpoena Refusal!

 

 

Addendum to Bannon's Farewell Pose

 

Now that there's been progress re-electing You-Know-Who.

Not much time for yoga, An update on just what I do

day-to-day to keep busy, besides yoga, there's something new:

doing lots of favors those with repayments due!

 

As you know my allergies keep me on my toes.

It turns out using shaving cream, reeks havoc with my nose.

Yes it is a trade-off, 5 days' stubble keeps down the rose-

colored nose liberals said caused by something that rhymes with “So”.

 

I've maintained my regimen with someone I advise.

It's just my personality, “My Leader Do-or-Die”.

It hasn't made me famous. The liberal press think I would lie

about things like if You-Know-Who had gotten me re-hired.

 

No, the White House had not yet, given me a call

on January fifth or sixth. At least, I don't recall

if my direct deposit shows my paychecks still legal

right on time to see if I was still working there after all.

 

No, I won't go testify. My phone messages are off

limits. Details of my day-to-day are really all I've got

to build up my retirement. There's a book deal I might sign.

Want to know what he said? Find my book on Amazon!

In the Department of Poetic Justice: Take Them Off Our Agenda (Ending Affordable Care)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:01

The Senate Republicans have introduced a bill to send all Affordable Care Act funding back to the states so states can deny coverage to citizens and Republicans will get the problem off their backs. We turn to the Great American Wrongbook and the Department of Poetic Justice to fathom what they do. Could be sung to "Take me out ot the ball gamee."

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In the Department of Poetic Justice: Take Them Off Our Agenda
To the tune of ‘Take me out to the ball game’
On the NEW Republican Bill to Ignore Health Coverage for Americans
Take them off our agenda,
Take them off Medicaid.
Why should we divvy their healthcare up
Give states block subsidies,
Get this off of our backs.
If they live in Iowa, Texas
Where Ted Cruz shows his hand,
Once again does not give a rat’s ass
About their sick children,
their spleeny heart attacks.
Ted Cruz says just give Texas money
That used to pay for health care,
They can spend it on their own problems,
Maybe to help build
a Mexican wall.
That’s not birth control
For young women,
Maybe they’ll fix the homes
ruined by hurricanes  then make more
Climate change, a topic
Cruz likes to ignore..
There’s place where state legislators
Get to decide as well
If you can visit your doctor when
Your back is aching,
The place is called Hell.
At least Ted Cruz won’t have to answer
questions about his votes.
All the Republicans won’t be blamed
for turning their backs
when the voters complain
About soaring insurance payments.
Gee, Ted can’t help with that.
When they’re one, two, three times as high,
He and Mitch will not bat an eye.

In the Department of Poetic Justice: Uncle Donald Had a Farm

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:05

Turning once again to the extensive value of nursery rhyme to bring us deep understanding, which brilliant skilled public servants did Donald Trump ignore as he and Rudy Giuliani birthed The Big Lie? The same ones who went quiet like a clam until they got subpoenaed?

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In the Department of Poetic Justice
Uncle Donald Had (had) a Farm
To the tune of ‘Old MacDonald Had a Farm’
-Susan Cook-

Uncle Donald has a Farm,
Got it with your vote
And on that farm he had a fit
History will note.
With a fit fit there,
And a fit, fit here
Here a fit, there a fit,
weekend’s are a big big fit fit.
Uncle Donald had a farm,
Bought it with your vote.
Uncle Donald had a Farm,
Got it with your vote

And yes, that farm is very big,
History will note.
With a snort snort here
and a snort, snort there,
Mar-a-largo ,
snort, snort,  snort  there,
Uncle Donald had a farm
Got it with your vote.


Uncle Donald has a Farm,
Got it with your vote
Likes to fit his golf game in
Every chance he got,
With a cheat cheat there
and a cheat cheat here
Drop a stroke, Move the ball,
Who will know he faked it all,
Uncle Donald has a farm,
Got it with your vote.

Uncle Donald picked his team
Scarramouchi too,
Started out with Sean Spicer,
But he had to go
With a Tom Price here
and a Bannon there
Comey, Pribus,
Prett Bharara,
Uncle Donald had his team
Fired them you know.


Uncle Donald doesn’t like
People who know more
Than he does
so what he does
Shows them to the door
Sally Yates, Michael Flynn,
Ethics Smethics Walter Shaub,
Michael Short  and Dubke too,
All of them have lost their jobs.
Uncle Donald doesn't like
People who know more.


Uncle Donald doesn’t see
What the problem is
Thinks he’s back in New Jersey
Hitting a golf tee
With the ball up there
 and the ball down there
Random, Land em
Any where there
Uncle Donald doesn’t see
What the problem is.

Uncle Donald hired  a
Mouthpiece for his staff,
tells her what occurs to him
No thought of aftermath
McEnaney quotes him word for word
Irresponsible, absurd,
Uncle Donald
Hired her
Thoughtlessness  what he prefers.


Kelly Anne has hit the road
finally figured out
Adolescents tell the truth
More than you'll ever know.
With a "Please Mom quit!"
Give your kid
Full attention! Get a grip!
Kelly Conway hit the road
Figured something out!

Uncle Donald had a Farm,
Got it with your vote
hired some small minded folk
Ee-yikes- oh no yikes oh no,
With a world threat here
Some racists there
Here a thug, there a thug
Everywhere some sheep dung
Uncle Donald had a farm,
Bought it with your vote.

The Freedom to Succeed and the Mind's Eye:One Runner's Success

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 05:01

In Maine, recently, an internationally known annual road race was held . 6338 runners raced. One runner in the group of the first 183 spent a full year- in another state locked up- not for committing a crime- but for having a mental illness. In some states that is still possible.
This year he missed the first 100 places in the 2017 Maine Marathon by a few minutes.

In order to have success you have to have freedom to succeed. And there are hundreds of obstacles to that - in this country- still touted as the free-est nation on earth. We know it's not always but most of us still hold out having the freedom to succeed as America’s cherished offering .

The current political rhetoric ignores that. The anti- freedom to succeed catch phrases of this Presidential election cycle remind us of that. Don’t let immigrants come here. Build a wall. She must be a liar-don’t let her succeed. Don’t trust her. And yes, he’s not fit countered by she’s not fit. I guess it comes down to success being having the freedom to succeed, and then seizing it. Many, many people don’t do that but that’s what this runner did. Where a person finds the motivation let alone - as another runner called it the audacity to hope- that success is still up for grabs- I don’t know. It takes a large mind to see what small minds shut out-and who is shut out. But it has nothing to do with the mind’s size. It has more to do with the mind’s eye- that sees the horizon, like runners see, when they get out on the road, getting out on the road, giving it another go, giving themselves the freedom to succeed, with only 182 others in front of them. It also takes a culture or a country that yes, may hold them back for awhile, but not long enough to take away the freedom to succeed for good.

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The Mind’s Eye and the Freedom to Succeed: One Runner’s Success
-Susan Cook-
In Maine, recently, an internationally known annual road race was held . 6338 runners raced. An American Olympic hopeful won  this 10 K race. He had fallen short by a hideously small amount of time in the Olympic trials, coming in 5th thus losing the chance for Olympic success. In the 10K, the other 6337 runners ran slower than he did. Only 183 of those who ran raced in less than 38 minutes, 10 minutes slower than the winner. The slowest runner took an hour and 37 minutes to finish.
One has to wonder what makes for that ten minute difference between coming in first and 183rd.  After all, 6155 of them ran slower than  they did.  Even so, racing in less than 38 minutes must have like have felt like an extraordinary success.
One runner in that group of 183 spent a full year, in another state locked up- not for committing a crime- but- for having a mental illness. In some states that is still possible. Even in states where locking someone up for having a mental illness is legal , the laws still champion the Right of Recipients of Mental Health Services to refuse medication, to not agree to a treatment plan and to not acknowledge a diagnosis.  So this runner spent a year, under lock and key, with no diagnosis, no administered medication and no treatment plan, until, finally, a local judge - with only court-assigned  lawyers to defend the case- gave the runner freedom.
Setting someone free meant setting someone free to run. The constraints on running, progress and practice, before, was not time, not motivation, not a gust of headwind or a sudden injury . Literally the constraint was a  lock and key. And so the running began. Meaning that the chance to be one of the top 183 runners was there. Free, for real.
In order to have success you have to have freedom to succeed. And there are hundreds of obstacles to that. in this country- touted as the freest nation on earth. We know its not  but most of us still hold out having the freedom to succeed as America’s cherished offering .   The current political rhetoric ignores that. The anti- freedom to succeed catch phrases of this Presidential election cycle remind us of that.  Don’t let immigrants come here. Build a wall. She must be a liar-don’t let her succeed. Don’t trust her. And yes, he’s not fit countered by she’s not fit. I guess it comes down to success being having the freedom to succeed,  and then seizing it. Many, many people don’t do that  but that’s what  this runner did. Where a person finds  the motivation let alone - as another runner called it the audacity to hope- that success is still up for grabs- I don’t know. It takes a large mind to see what small minds shut out-and who is shut out. But it has nothing to do with the mind’s size. It has more to do with the mind’s eye- that sees the horizon, like runners see, when they get out on the road, getting out on the road,  giving it another go,  giving themselves the freedom to succeed, with only 182 others in front of them. It also takes  a culture or a country that yes, may hold them back for awhile, but not long enough to take away the freedom to succeed for good.          

In the Department of Poetic Justice: If You Had a License Like Alabama's Natives Give..."

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:46

In the Department of Poetic Justice, and the Great American Wrongbook, "If You Had a License Like Alabama's Natives Give.." sung to the tune from "I Want a Girl Just Like the Girl who Married Dear Old Dad".

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                                      In the Department of Poetic Justice:

"If You Had a License Like Alabama's Natives Give.."

To the tune from "I Want A Girl Just Like the Girl Who Married Dear Old Dad"

From the Great American Wrongbook

-Susan Cook-

                                      If you had a license like Alabama's natives give

to men who suddenly cannot decide

why they shouldn't take teenagers outside.

Get her into the vehicle and lock up both the doors.

She won't have what is often called a choice

No one will hear when she raises her voice.

Remember some day she may finally get a certain chance,

to tell the world that while he called her M'am

Roy Moore groped her, now calls it water over the dam.

 

Jeff Sessions, Evangelicals all knew him way back then.

They made like they never heard about assaults.

Now his wife says that it was not his fault.

Fast forward to this time and the license to assault

that Alabama's GOP gives out, a sign of depravity their default

moral position because  remember what we said.

They gave this lawyer license way back then,

still are giving it - does it never end?

 

Women seen as there for exploitation, FGM

another way to keep her mouth shut tight.
Roy Moore likes it that way-

in Southern, you just say "Oh, men."

Jeff Sessions according to Maine's Senator Collins,
is a decent, fair-minded man.

Alabama's Board of Bar Overseers should do whatever they can.

Take Roy Moore's license back, so he will never practice law.

We'll keep our fingers crossed that Jeff Sessions

drops his amnesia and will not come to Moore's defense..

Then he won't have a license like Alabama's natives give

and  men who suddenly cannot decide

will change their minds. No more taking teenagers outside.

In the Department Of Poetic Justice: "I Want a Leak Just Like the Leak that Richard Nixon Had..."

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:13

Drawing from The Great American Wrongbook, in the Department of Poetic Justice, which could be sung to "I want a Girl Just Like the Girl..."

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 In the Department of Poetic Justice (The Great American Wrongbook)
" I want a leak just like the leak that Richard Nixon had."
(To the tune of "I want a girl just lie the girl who married.." )
I want a leak just like the leak that Richard Nixon had.
A real eye-opener with special news,
Liddy, Watergate-ish and then he blew a  fuse. 
I want a leak just like the leak that Richard Nixon had.



I want to see lab results from a strand of someone's hair,
or clippings when he gets his toenails cut,
fingernais engrained with who knows what.
I want to see lab results from a strand of someone's hair.


I want to see behavioral comparisons each day.
Please check the weekdays close to the weekend.
Thursday, Friday, right near the week's end.
I want to see behavioral comparisons each day.


Where are the officials who monitor him day-by-day?
It's not like these are minor infractions,
Western civilization gone during his binge.
Where are the officials who monitor him day-by-day?
 
Kelly, Sarah Huckabee, even Mr. Tillotsen,
could give him a pat on his shoulder pads,
whoops, coinicidentally, happen to snag,
one strand with the follicle, answering what we have asked.

I want a leak just like the leak that Richard Nixon had.
A real eye-opener with special news,
Liddy, Watergate-ish. He might blow a fuse.
I want a leak just like the leak that Richard Nixon had.

In the Department of Poetic Justice:It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas..."

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:39

There has been a sudden shift in the hopeful tides that the Christmas season brings- toward hope that the majority in the US Senate will change. The current one passed a tax bill that thinks children are only important if they sit on Corporate Boards. And makes policy that says life ends as soon as labor and delivery are over! No increase in tax credits needed for child care. And no funds allotted for Children's Health Insurance.

Itsbeginningtolooklikechristmasbarbie_small

‌In the Department of Poetic Justice: It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas
(and the Great American Wrongbook)
-Susan Cook-


It's beginning to look alot like Christmas,
every screen you see.
On the televised news updates,
they've opened the floodgates,
a new guy finding a new place!
We are noticing there will soon be someone
with no history of offering
young girls that he'll give a ride,  
as soon as their inside
molestation, ignoring their cries.
Maybe this means a time is coming
when men won't act like  females are
objects they can abuse,
because they'd like to use
them. They show us what they are made of!
Maybe it means The US Senate
will finally take a look around
and ask themselves privately
would they take the chance and leave
a female child with their colleagues.
Maybe it means they'll stop protecting
corporate wealth while children stay
in day care that's marginal
no background checks to show
what the caregiver might know.
Maybe they 'll finally stop and realize
that the people who can't vote
are not just the unenrolled,
they are also those whose clothes,
all small sizes, onesies.
Maybe the Senator from Bangor
will finally get the drift of it:
that someone must stay behind
pay for day care, somehow find
money to care for the child.
Maybe the Senator will speak up
if she happens to take note
that tax credits for robots
indecently coopt
child care credits, parents lost.
Maybe because the tax bill does not
include a word about children,
she could finally take it on,
ask Murkowski, maybe Mitch
where's the pro-life in that?
It's beginning to look like Mitch McConnell
has confused reality,
thinks the GOP doesn't need
children who do not yet hold seats
on Boards of Major Companies.
Here's an idea for Susan Collins,
she can share with her colleagues.
How about they all confess that
their policy suggests life starts with sex,
ends just after the birth?
It doesn't matter if you're fourteen,
twenty-one or fifteen months,
Republicans now believe
you should never get reprieve,
on college loans, no health care free.
It's beginning to look alot like Collins
is sucking up. We don't know why.
But the news coming in today
says there may just be a way
a Democratic majority any day.
It's beginning to look alot like Christmas,
every screen you see.
On the televised news updates,
Alabama opened the floodgates,
a New Senator put in place.

Human Resource Guy Scarramouchi on Bannon's Farewell: Department of Poetic Justice

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:29

Turning to the Department of Poetic Justice and the tune from "I'll Be Seeing You", a poetic tribute to Scarramouchi's recent observation about why Mr. Bannon left the White House staff.

Transmission_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice: Human Resource Guy Scarramouchi Weighs In on Bannon's Farewell
(To the tune from "I'll Be Seeing You" from The Great American Wrongbook)
Scarramouchi used to be an H.R. Rep
before his career took off.
You all know  the job he left.
He used to hand out check-lists.
"Do you work best by your self?
When you're on a team
are you at your best?"
He called on those H.R. talents
when his country asked him to
step up to do public service
for a special "You know who."
He had his checklists with him
mentally completed them.
Myers-Briggs profiles
can predict success.


Of course Bannon's would have helped
the country know ahead of time,
Presidential spokesperson
not the best use of Bannon's time.
Scarramouchi knew this
which is why he later said,
"Bannon's problem is he was a bad hire."
Introverted, extroverted
makes a world of difference.
Intuition better left behind
when the country faces a crisis,
Thinking qualitatively
leaves feeling far behind.
Bannon, soon would show,
constant judging his gift.
EIFJ Scarramouchi
knew that was Bannon's profile.
Extrovert, intuitive,
feeling, judging all the time.
Alas, Joint Chiefs of Staff
all come up as introverts.
Sensing, thinking,
perceiver on Myers-Briggs.
Scarramouchi knew this,
Myers-Briggs work from his HR days.
Tried to tell the President
Bannon will not last, not with his profile this way.
HR skills may be what
Scarramouchi  brought with him.
His Legacy knowing Bannon
was not a good hire.....

In the Department of Poetic Justice: You Don't Know This But Your Civil Rights Are Violated

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:43

From The Great American Wrongbook and In Today's Department of Poetic Justice, a poetic tribute to the question: what's wrong with violating the civil rights of citizens who go to public hearings to testify. Could be sung to the tune from The Sound of Music, "You Are 16, Going On 17".

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In the Department of  Poetic Justice: You Don't Know This but Your Civil Rights
(and the Great American Wrongbook which could be sung to the tune "You are 16 Going On 17"
from "The Sound of Music")


-Susan Cook-
You don't know this but  your civil rights
on the Internet,
can be reduced
to mush and you can't say
or even make a guess
Who it is because you can just bet
they will not tell you.
Their IP numbers
lead you in circles
out on the World Wide Web.


Politicians and their staffers
think that their job includes
negative, hostile
demeaning, caustic
words they will aim at you.


Lunatic for criticizing,
exposing you could say,
electeds who don't know
why the voters
should have something to say.



Staffers can be good at lying
And maybe you should know,
Erhlichman, John Dean,
Haldeman, that scene,
dirty and just obscene



Politicians, dirty staffers
sometimes go hand-in-hand.
And in this Nation,
From DC  to Maine
some often do slip through.



They will spend their time in the State House
trying to discredit you,
on your  tax dollar,
Privacy Guarded,  on sites
they've come to know




Where they'll post demeaning comments
Democrats do it too
While their Communication
Director pretends
she just doesn't know.



When it's  time for applications
for jobs at the State House
misogynistic, fascist,
or sexist, oh well,
hide email notes?



Call the  other party's staffer
try to get him on board.
Proxy, so toxic,
civil rights blocks it
when people file suit



Since the limitations
of the statute are not met
Solar pronouncements
liberal announcements
don't allow or defend



Violating civil rights,
the Director doth approve,
legal, illegal, law school achievers
might help prevent abuse.


Maybe yes or maybe no. Depends
if where they'd like to end
elected to Congress,
where they won't confess
their civil rights offense.


Pump it up and put it out,
the environmental news
sent to the press
now would be hard-pressed
to find out his real past.



If the Speaker brings corruption
into their messaging
there goes the free press,
Antidotally keeps
Democracy different


From some fascist dictator
who believes the  public blames
who she decides 
will ruin her game plan,
public jobs,  personal gain.



Human rights, their  violators
aren't just in one party,
Democrats, 
GOP  staff,
ignoring your civil liberties.


When they decide they will take
the b-i-t-ch out to the woodshed,
law school, a small school
compared to the
leadership's big decree.
Staffers who don't see big pictures,
bigger than Africa,
Ukraine, Rwanda,
where leaders still launder
human rights they've squandered



Are in danger of repeating
just what they've done before
violate people who
speak at a hearing.
We have seen all of  this before.

In the Department of Poetic Justice "What Do I Owe You? I Thought I Already Paid"

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:45

Reconciling one man's self-defined Free Trade Agreements (Eeew) is hard to do. A Poetic Tribute to the lyrical dilemma of paying $130000 for something you don't think you should have to pay for because you are fabulous but you are trying to buy someone's silence so you can be elected to a high public office with the support of Evangelical Christians.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice: What Do I Owe You?
(The Great American Wrongbook)
to tune of "Getting to Know You"
from "The King and I"

-Susan Cook-
What do I owe you?
I thought I already paid.
What do I owe you?
I do not like to be made
into a shyster.
Your rates were far above
my financial free trade
agreement. My private codeword
for what I should not have to get
a bill for.  That's not fair trade.

I am not saying
I did not enjoy time with you
I guess I neglected
to ask the same question of you.
for a couple of hours
(was it longer than that?)
for which I paid. Did you realize
that I am a senior- AARP- as well,
discounts  qualify. Couldn't you tell?

Don't try to tell me
sixty-five plus you begin
to charge by the hour
instead of counting item  by item.
"Je ne c'est pas"
how your bottom line fares.
I just know when I did real estate
finishing the deal
no matter how long it takes
one price from start till the end.

So by those standards no
don't take this wrong but it seems
one hundred thirty thousand, well,
No, you didn't tell me-
there is a difference between
older  fellows who last
I guess you could say. Than those on rapid lunch breaks.
Just like our country, you defer payment
for debt. Who carries that kind of cash?

I just don't get it.
President Clinton you know, 
notoriously went out
at lunch time for his quick  runs
in Little Rock. I am guessing he thought
money would cheapen deep love he had,
He made sure no cash would ever changed hands
No paying it forward,
he a liberal man.

I'm not a liberal but
I believe there are times
when paying it forward
helps cover the bottom line.
Eventually, the past 
may bring up incidents
when changing the spelling of your name
would help avoid future repayment claims.
You weren't there. Cash was for your doppelgang

In the Department of Poetic Justice: All They Want Is Their Bonus Checks

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:56

From the Great American Wrongbook, in the Department of Poetic Justice, a musical tribute to the Maine Legislature's recent corporate welfare giving 3 million dollars annually- to build sonar-equipped warships- all the while helping the Right Whale become extinct.

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 In the Department of Poetic Justice
(and sung to the tune from The Great American Wrongbook:
'Wouldn't It Be Lover-ly?)

"All They Want Are Their Bonus Checks.."


All they want are their bonus checks,
General Dynamics to re-invest
into retirement from
money Mainers give to them.

Thanks to the bill the Democrats
helped to pass, 3 million greenbacks
in tax repayment. My goodness
Maine is such  a wealthy state!
 
They forgot minor aged
children who survive by the grace
of God. Oh well let's make sure
Jon Fitzgerald gets his bonus paid.

Trickle up! That is their motto.
from taxpayers. You'd think they'd know
that sonar-equipped warships
also decimate the whales.

I'm not talking about the top
managers. General Dynamics got
their cast of go-to suckups.
Maine legislators don't ask much

And they'll vote for a bill to please
BIW. Right whales that  are now deceased
don't vote. Democrats will say
whales are not in their district.

Environmental logistics
aren't their problem. The statistics
indicate right whales never signed
 a clean elections check.


Whales don't know what a traitor is,
mind their business
who knows just what that is.
Maine legislators don't. Jobs are their priority. 

Deny  they're suck-ups on a good day.
Year end bonuses they'll  give away
to multi-national corporate
lobbyists willing to pay

Shipyard Workers to stand outside
Maine's Statehouse. They don't realize
3  million dollars won't add
to their pay a single dime.

Turkey sandwiches don't cost much.
Legislators who like to be sucked up
by lobbyists. When will they
start to see things globally?

Dedicating the extinction
of right whales, a legislative proclamtion
to Maine's House legislators selling out,
for mayonnaise, mayonaise, mayonaise, More Mayo please.


Stop Guessing Just Whose Financing was Used... In the Department of Poetic Justice (and for The Great American Wrongbook)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:01

A musical tribute to a certain one hundred and thirty thousand dollars which it turns out a certain President did reimburse his lawyer for which had nothing to do with a certain election in 2016.

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In the Department of Poetic Justice: Stop Guessing Just Whose Financing was Used...

(and in The Great American Wrongbook)

which could be sung to the melody from "New York, New York"

 

Stop guessing just whose

financing was used

to pay a certain woman a fee

she thought she was due.

Because now Rudy blows the cover

Michael Cohen discovered,

Sarah Sanders, new news for you?

 

Maybe he forgot

a bargain he thought

he got or maybe that's the only

checkbook he ever lost

when he hoped we'd elect

him, president, neglect to inspect

check memos: "This one's for sex."

 

Now Sarah must spin

the spot he is in. Did Rudy call her first

to explain the logic she will bring

to speaking nationwide

saying he never lied.

You know how lawyers

keep clients' hands tied.

 

The only thing worse

than Mike Cohen's curse

if his client spoke up

said, Yes he had re-imbursed

one hundred thirty thousand bucks,

because sometimes his lucks

run out or he forgets who he...

 

 

Start spreading the news.

Embarassed V. 2.

But Mr. Trump will say at least he's telling the truth.

Unlike the White House Correspondents

host, Ms. Wolf made comments

embarassed the Constitution and the Bill of Rights too.

 

Sarah Sanders might

get her turn next time

while Michelle Wolf is exiled,

excommunicated too

and next year's Nobel Prize

for fiction, Sarah Sanders wins one.

She'll be the Nobel Board's new P.R. hire.

In the Department of Poetic Justice: Someone Must Have Planted

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:55

Musical tribute to the Mueller investigation, sung if you like to the tune from "Some Enchanted Evening..", "Someone must have planted...."

Theoldgraymare_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice

(and the Great American Wrongbook)

 

"Someone must have planted..."

(which could be sung to the tune from "Some Enchanted Evening")

-Susan Cook-

 

Someone must have planted

something in our laptops

or in our valises. How could they ever know?

Democracies don't

mean for sure, they won't

do whatever they can to get at the truth.

Yes, I was trying to find some friends

down there in DC,

hoping I would win.

 

I had never been there,

to the Oval Office

except in my day dreams

I thought that I could show

the management staff

how they could improve

the heating and cooling systems

since I know

which ones are better,

lowering the rate

for heat expenses.

I sell real estate.

 

 

Who knew Jared Kushner

went to all those meetings,

here and there a sandwich

with people who would know

the best banks to use

for funding just whose

mortgages, leases

I never quite knew.

I was quite busy

working at Trump Tower,

Mar-a-largo into

the wee hours.

 

So I guess I'll tell you

on my I-phone I have

gotten emails from some women I never knew.

And now I must ask,

is that where they hacked

when I exchanged messages, yes, I sent back.

Yes, they were women,

Russian what they said,
"Hot and excited"
Some wanting to bed.."

 

Sometime in the future
after the election

when I had some spare time,

of course, I never knew,

the first selection

for President then

would be yours truly. Even I was surprised.

Then I had no time to email back

President Trump.

They'd think their

laptops hacked.

 

It turns out I should have

had them all deleted

when I took a chance on

clicking the email line.

Now Mueller believes

that real estate deals

were on my mind. Does he forget my first rule?

If there are women,

looking for some fun,

shapely and pretty,

I'll get the deal done!

 

 

Someone must have planted

something in our emails,

in plants on the desk top

or in the office where

yes, when I was bored,

I'd go through the more

than 10,000 emails from Russians,

well, whores.

Now the FBI,

sent their guys too,

I bet they open

those hot emails too.

 

 

Someone must have planted

something in our laptops

or in our valises. How could they ever know?

Democracies don't

mean for sure, they won't

do whatever they can

to get at the truth.

Yes, I was trying to find some friends

down there in DC,

guess what yes, I won.

What Do We Do # Me Too? In the Department of Poetic Justice (and The Great American Wrongbook)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:36

From the Great American Wrongbook, possibly sung to "What'll I Do?", the Planned Parenthood GAG order and the GOP's knowledge of what goes on in a woman's body.

Howtobeinvisible_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice

(and The Great American Wrongbook)

"What Do We Do, # Me Too?"

(sung to the tune of "What'll I Do?")

 

-Susan Cook-

 

 

How would he know,

he's in his Senate seat

and so he's not inside

the woman's body when she does not know

fertilization's arrived.

Mitch still thinks he's the one

who decides what

she does.

 

 

Mr. McConnell's gynecology

did not earn him degrees

nevertheless

his mind is focused on

a certain female body's recess

If we say where it is

Morning Edition

will not play that word.

 

 

So while we are on that topic

let us ask

just how it comes to this

GOP Senators and Congressmen

still give themselves access

To women's private parts

that Terry Gross can't

mention on Fresh air.

 

 

Mr. McConnell thinks that he knows best

just how the zygote fares

if it's in residue

from opiods

or something else she's used

I mean the woman

who was blanked one night

Steve Inskeep can't say it on air.

 

 

The man and woman made their bodies touch

McConnell says he knows

exactly if the woman can caretake

a child, or will Mitch care

when there's there's a birth

a new drug addict

neglected. It's just not fair

Will Mitch then just say,

Republicanly, "Oh, well, not mine to care?"

 

 

I shouldn't say

it's just Mitch McConnell,

Ted Cruz and Rubio

and Donald Trump- no surprise-

will control Planned Parenthood

as if they know-

what's good-

for a woman's body.

When will they lose their jobs

be fired too.

Their decisions grope

women's bodies

WE are their victims.

Hey wake up! Where are you?

No more groping.

Hash tag it's your turn

ME TOO!

"It Had To Be -Un [Kim Jong]" In the Department of Poetic Justice (and the Great American Wrongbook)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:46

A musical tribute to the most recent historic meeting of minds between You Know Who. And Who Else, to the tune from the 1924 tune "It Had To Be You",

Ganeeshofftolinks_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and from the Great American Wrongbook)

"It had TO Be -Un"

(could be sung to the tune from "It Had To Be You")

 

It had to  be -Un.

It had to  be -Un.

I travelled around, until I knew I'd found my -Un.

Yes, he's kind of short, oh, he's a brat,

said I was crazy,

how'd he know that.

It had to be -Un,

Wonderful -Un.

My -Kim Jong-Un.

 

Hey, maybe he said,

we won't move ahead

and try to agree,

I said "We'll see" . Hey, you know me.

Turns out he'd like

to take more time off,

like to be spening his time playing golf.

And I told him,

Hey I've got the spot

for my Chairman Kim.

 

Now, he won't be yearning,

just thinking and learning

refining his aim

fixing his game with that

golf club he's aiming.

He just needs time,

try to unwind ,

get South Korea off of his mind

That's what he'd like,

a golf course to hike,

see what he can find.

 

I told him I know

a place he can go,

practice his putts

Hey, no, he's not nuts.

Mar-a-lago

could be just right

for Chairman Kim.

You heard me say,

It had to be him.

Prime real estate,

right here in the States.

It had to Kim.

 

When he said "Ahnee",

I said "We'll see.

Kept saying "Eh"

like Trudeau would say,

but this guy today

he means, "Oh Yes"

He'd like to see

Palm Beach. Get out there.

Land some on the greens.

For this guy today,

It's "Yes", not just "Eh"

That's what he means.

 

Ok, we forgot,

Gulags that was not

top tier today

When I said "Eh, eh"

so they haven't gone away.

The first human right

that we'll address

a man and his golf game

Who would've guessed?

The guy is a hack

would like to get back

to working his game.

 

So you can relax

he'll be with the hacks,

Sunday, even more

No nukes to distract

as he attacks

getting his line so that his putt

will make him a winner,

My guy Kim Jong-Un

Putting it in, Sounds like I win.

It had to be -Un.

Sonnet for Donald Hall (after reading his essay on growing old)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:07

Donald Hall died on June 23rd. A sonnet written after reading his essay on growing old.

Americassonnetjpg_medium_small

Sonnet for Donald Hall
(After Reading His Essay on Growing Old)
-Susan Cook-



Oh, Donald Hall, of course, you know that
barns, for generations, have been lost
when one last winter snow storm tears the past
apart, barns like time, there until they're not.
And Donald Hall, I'm coming by to cook
for you, who've lived the inexplicable:
that foods are truly love, the loves that look
you in the eye, the meal that leaves you full.
And Donald Hall, your tree sees where you sit
and all who've watched before sitting by your
side. Bending back in time, were you a finch?
The tree a boy? We'll never now for sure
if trees were boys or men were birds. We knew
only this man. That's you, now.  See? That's you.

Chick-Fil-Ay, Hey, Here I Come: In the Dept of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning). Mr Pruitt leaves the EPA

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:39

A tribute (which could be sung to a tune from the Great American Wrongbook and a song "California, Here I Come" from the musical "Bombo") to the Departure of Scott Pruitt from The Environmental Protection Agency

Trumpggreatwallbuilding1_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice

(and Poetic Reckoning)

and from The Great American Wrongbook.

"Chick-Fil-Ay, Hey, Here I Come"

sung to "California, Here I Come"   a tune  from "Bombo"

-Susan Cook-

Chick-Fil-A Hey! Here I come right back where I started from!

Emissions, permissions,

No worries at night.

On Posture-pedic, I'll be sleeping real tight!

Memory-Foam, innersprings will do.

Back at home, there'd be no toodoo!

My right hand man or girls could pick up my shirts,

at the dry cleaners, Do ethics mean I throw my suits in the wash?

 

 

Time for me to get back home

set new legal standards low,

Contaminated soil, water and air

Well, in my phone booth,

no smells, Why would I care!

Asthma, smazmah, they'll regret

All the laws I couldn't get

accomplished because my friends showed up

a surprise meeting! Lobbyists, what the heck!

don't write in "Days-At-A-Glance".

Sometimes they don't get the chance

to write down "Meeting at the EPA!

Scott Pruit promises he'll pave the way!"

 

 

You bet now that I'll be gone

Those reporters will be long

on explanations. In The New York Times

Morning Edition, Politico will find

more problems I didn't have .

Won't just leave it, Have to have

the final say and try to be the last

to say "Good riddance to Pruitt's sorry ass..."

 

Chick-Fil-A Hey! Here I come

right back where I started from!

Emissions, permissions, Ha!

No more worries at night.

On Posture-pedic, I'll be sleeping alright!

Memory-Foam or innersprings will do.

Back at home, there'd be no toodoo!.....

And They'll Clear It With You: In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning), Political Appointees!

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:07

A musical tribute to political appointees (at the cost of the Public trust) with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook! which could be sung to the tune from "The Nearness of You".

Centerformoremoneyformephoto2_small

"And They'll Clear It With You"

In the Department of Justice (and Reckoning)

and for The Great American Wrongbook

to the tune of "The Nearness of You"

A Musical Tribute to Political Appointees

 

 

It's not your old feats. When

you worked them

Your backstabbing to defend them,

Oh no. It's your new appointment.

 

Now that you're hired,

can't be fired,

job secure, nice checks when you retire.

Let's see. What else could I have you try?

 

You keep your mouth closed.

Hold your nose just so.

When I tell you, ok, now just let it go,

In New Jersey, they made the traffic go slow.

 

We won't conspire.

We're such good liars.

Selectively, we'll go much higher.

Punish those who interefered with my re-hire.

 

You know it's now our state.

We've got a mandate.

Now we can legislate. That is my take.

Slander and libel, we can always update.

 

So now don't go write

on a world wide website

you can just sit tight

when the time is right, you'll get hired.

 

I am not saying it's illegal

I'm just saying save your speil gal,

keep it quiet

Don't tell The New York Times.

 

In your new job, you can make sure,

your friends stay brushed up

forget the public's trust,

It's History, and you'll clear it with me.


It's  not your old feats. When
you worked  them
Your backstabbing  to defend them,
Oh no. It's the nearness of you.
 

I've Been Having a Small Tirade: In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:53

With lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook, a tribute to You Know Who and how his workday goes sometimes. Sung to "I've been working on the railroad" that American folk song written for the truly hard-working Americans who make our country a beacon of hope and prosperity for the rest of the world.

Ivebeenhavingasmalltirade_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

"I've Been Having a Small Tirade..."

sung to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad..."

with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook

 

I've been having a small tirade

all the live long day!

I've been having a small tirade

If it gets big, clear the way.

Can't your hear the fake news coming!

Fine with me. I'm on my game

Can't you hear the fake news coming

When they hear my name!

 

I've been working on my golf game

every chance I get !

I've been working on my golf game

trim the ice cream off my waist.

Can't you hear the press complaining!

Why is he gone so much?

Can't you hear the press complaining

Jealous, that's my hunch.

 

Yes, I get a little grouchy

if they say too quick.

Yes, I get a little grouchy.

But I can only take so much!

First, they say that I'm a loser

lost by one hundred thousand votes

Then they start to ask each other,

who wrote her that check?

 

Cohen don't you blow,

Cohen don't you blow

Cohen, don't you blow your horn..

Cohen . don't you blow

Cohen, don't you blow,

Cohen, you say, "I don't know!"

 

 

 

I know Mitch McConnell loves me

Yes, he's kind of shy!

I know Mitch McConnell loves me

He's afraid his a__ will fry

if he openly opposes,

says things that sound like Hillary

since he hasn't gotten an inkling

how I got chosen.

 

I have been extremely good at

making friends world-wide!

I have been so good at taking

the small countries for a ride.

Think of all those in Korea

worried I might be mad at them

I gave Kim Jong Un the idea

that we should be friends.

 

Rudy, don't you blow,

Rudy, don't you know

what you told the press last week!

Rudy, don't you blow

Rudy, don't you know

forgeting makes you seem real weak.

 

 

So the butler or the valet

wrote that I get a little cross

Actually, I am not certain

What a way to treat your boss!

Put it in the paper, now it's nationally on view

Just remember nothing changes,

It's still "Big Grouchy" to you!

 

Grouchy, I might be

Grouchy I might be

Grouchy I might be on Tues ues day!!

Wait a couple days!

Out on my golf range,

I'm a really fun golf guy!

 

You Say Tomato, I'll Say Tomato! In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:41

Recently, diplomacy has evolved to a new - let's say species! Poetic justice and reckoning all in one tune! Trump, Putin, Crimea and golf! After all Dan Scavino, Jr. former manager of a Westchester golf course owned by a Certain Someone (and golf caddy for that special Golfer) is now Director of Social Media, i.e. International Relations, with an office right next door to You Know Who.

Yousaytomatoillsaytomato_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

"You Say Potato, I'll Say Potato"

(and for The Great American Wrongbook, sung to the tune of

"You say Tomah-to, I say Tomay-to")

-Susan Cook-

 

You say potay-to, I'll say potay-to.

You say tomay-to, I'll say tomay-to.

You say Nukes are good for me.

I say, "Hey, Pal, yes, I see."

Potayto, Potayto,

Tomayto, Tomayto,

Some new Nukes, some cute Nukes,

Forget all the old nukes.

 

I say you don't know a thing.

You say, "Nyet-ski, Who would think!

Fixed elections, me-oh-my!"

I know that you're on my side!

Inflated! Mutated! The vote count debated!

And Putin disputin' 

fake news they've been making'!

When I say you're innocent,

Det-ka, you are heaven sent!

 

Let's say potato, let's say tomato!

Putin refutin'! Donald disputin'!

Let's go out and hit the limks!

Commie-shmommy! I like pink!

Let's sink one! A pink one! We make a great twosome!

We're solvin' by golfin' ,

dissolvin' , resolvin'!

Mar-a-lago Crimea! Golf goes red!

That's my idea!

Idea! Crimea! The links where I'll see ya'!

Might be a resolver, the tee shots we're solvin'!

Nyet-ski! Det-ka! My little dove!

Can't believe we fell in love!

 

 

Dept. Of Poetic Justice time! "Oh, They Did Shed Light on His Conduct Back At Home"

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:25

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning) with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook and sung to the tune (Traditional) from "My Old Kentucky Home") a musical tribute to the decision by Sen. Collins and Sen. McConnell to ignore the #MeToo movement. Senator Collins also decided
to discredit women who have been sexually assaulted because - hold on- Senator Collins is the person to decide who the assaulter is - not the victim's decision. Susan Collins's call.

Hewholooksforacopliment_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook

 

"Oh, They Did Shed Light on His Conduct Back at Home"

which could be sung to the tune from "My Old Kentucky Home"

 

Oh, they did shed light on his conduct back at home.

Was it when his Mom was out of town?

Did it make Mitch think that as long as no one found

a dead body he had found his man?

 

Susan Collins thinks that the first rule to uphold

is her favorite "Don't bring up the past."

If you do, she'll get Mary Mayhew at her side,

the expert at leaving out the facts.

 

Oh, when the Senator goes out around  the town,

Mitch is the one man that she's ever found

who told her she is his only saving grace,

a pound of wet leather has more gravitas.

 

And when Mitch said, "Hey, remember our first rule?

I will not bring up the past. If you vote for this

embarassment of mine, we will try

to get your reputation back.

 

Mitch and Susan don't remember the new rule.

Harvey Weinstein, even Catholic priests,

spend their time thinking, 'Gee, I wish I only knew

female fierceness. Now there is #MeToo.

 

Monkey business used to mean the man got caught,

no indictment. Time for divorce court.

Mitch McConnell doesn't realize that Me Too's

Betrayed women are getting their fair due.

 

Let's hope Susan Collins likes retirement,

playing golf or maybe she'll be caught

in recycling her betrayals of days old,

Instant messaging with Gary Hart.

 

Chorus:

Oh, they did shed light on his conduct back at home.

Was it when his Mom was out of town?

Did it make Mitch think that as long as no one found

a dead body he had found his man?

The Generic Election 2018 Senate Candidate Anthem: In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 05:19

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning) , a generic anthem for each and every Election 2018 Senate candidate.

Centerformoremoneyformephoto2_small

The Generic 2018 Election Senate Candidate Anthem

-Susan Cook

 

Oh beautiful, for spacious me, I am a profound man

So don't keep asking me to say for what it is I stand.

My friend Big Grouchy told me, "Just say you do not know

which Senators agree with you. Voters don't have to know.

 

" Oh beautiful, for spacious me, Big Grouchy meant to say

Don't tell them how you'll vote until they really have to pay.

Friday before Election Day, when Silver's polls are up,

Their vote will be your Hostage! Kavenaugh the final wedge!

 

Oh beautiful for spacious me. Big Grouchy says I can

hide all the facts about my past, my voting history.

I'm not anonymous you know. But Grouchy gets real mad

if someone tells the truth and he can't find out who they are.

 

Oh beautiful, for spacious me. Big Grouchy also said

Make sure you scan the Internet and pay some overhead

to Google every minute to tell you if they post

the facts you know, so they won't blow the cover off of you.

 

Oh beautiful for spacious me. Big Grouchy says he will

send out subpoenas rapidly when Truth's anonymous.

It's not that he's a liar. It’s public image work.

He says just show them what I want. The rest they can forget.

 

Oh beautiful for spacious me. My only problem is

because I have said things outloud, it’s not anonymous.

I mean the public record. It’s out there on the web.

Maybe Big Grouchy’s next lawsuit will ban the Internet.

 

Oh beautiful for spacious me, I know that I can win.

I've got them all so nervous. I think it is a cinch!

The most important thing to me is getting to D.C.!

Constituents? What's that? The issue's loyalty to me.

 

Oh beautiful for spacious me, I don't know what Brie is.

Food you know is not my thing. It doesn't go ka-ching!

My checkbook always needs me: I round up every sum.

The difference goes to charity, Guess what ! Lowers the tax for me!

 

Oh beautiful, for spacious me, I don't do sacrifice.

The Senators earn 100 thou. I don't plan to be one of them.

There is a difference, I'll tell you, no, I don't think I can.

I don't want citizens to think they are the ones I'm better than.

 

Oh beautiful for spacious me, I give to charity.

It comes to point zero zero one of my salary.

My supporters don't do math. Plus I am not a Mormon.

They give their ten percent away. No way I'll outdo them.

 

 

Oh beautiful, for spacious me, I won't let wages rise.

A dollar here, some quarters there. What do poor people buy?

I 'm not that big a spender, except for my TV,

It's part of my economy. Don't ask me: "So, tax-free?"

 

Oh beautiful, for spacious me, a trillion dollar gap,

would not be my problem when I am down there in DC.

It's not something I started . It wasn't on my time.

Too bad for you. you've got enough to pay me on your dime.

 

And yes, environmentally, contamination might

happen somewhere, the EPA has problems keeping sight

of chemicals and stuff like that. My votes will all be right

Don't start inventing reasons for me to take on your gripes.

 

Oh beautiful for spacious me. There are times when I'm wrong.

It doesn't really matter though, because I know I'm right.

It shows that I'm a leader. I will do what I want.

Do not forget I have to fend for my financ..um.. political life.

 

Oh beautiful for spacious me. I'm not a hypocrite.

Computers are for everyone and helps them feel they fit

into the world of cyberspace. Who knew they’d be Anonymous

and spread the truth about my past while I'm in politics.

 

Oh beautiful, for spacious me, I 'm so glad that I found

the time that I will really need to make my way around

to donors who will help me run my Senate race for free:

Make sure the check's signed properly "For More Money...For me."

They Ran For Congress! In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:39

Sailing toward the Midterm election, lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook sung to a seafaring tune.

008_8_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Poetic Reckoning)

with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook

 

"They Ran for Congress..."

(could be sung to the tune from the 1936 "We Saw the  Sea")

-Susan Cook-

 

They ran for Congress so they could finally

get rid of gridlock eventually.

Now don't tell voters they didn't end it

Instead They liked it eventually.

 

When they got down there, they found that gridlock

is not what you'd call a two-way street

since they would caucus with the like-minded

the ones with whom they all agreed.

 

They'd tap them on their padded shoulders

and say "Hey, bro, you want to chat?"

Then Mitch McConnell stared at them blankly,

said "All the Democrats sit in the back,"

 

It hurt their feelings but there was no way.

At least, they tried.You might as well,

know now they're grateful since they have realized

at least their a--s--- did not get fried.

 

Bailing, bailing, not for them!

And leave their big fat salaries.

Short work days, their cup of tea

Remember! Vote and send them back to DC!

 

They thought they'd find out intricate details,

how they could fix things that aren't broken.

They read their pamphlets and their instructions.

Of course, they also like to win.

 

They couldn't manage to fix the problems,

the ones that aren't cracked. You'd think they could

at least make up for all the gridlock.

Turns out they only made things worse.

 

They heard Commissioners down there in DC

are very nice and know their jobs.

The only problem's they never saw them,

I guess no GPS for Ms. DeVos.

 

They heard in Congress, they'd make decisions

and more decisions on policy.

The only problem is they'd be thinking

they got it right but no one else agreed.

 

 

Bailing, bailing, not for them!

And leave their big fat salaries.

Influence their cup of tea!

Just remember! Send them back to DC!

Dept. of Poetic Justice tune: "Nate Silver's Been Counting All the Numbers..." sung to "It's Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas..."

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:20

A musical tribute to polling before Election Day! In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning) with lyrics for "The Great American Wrongbook" sung to the 1951 "It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas"

Thecavaliersandtheirponies1_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and reckoning) with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook

"Nate Silver's been counting all the numbers..."

(sung to the tune from the  1951 "Its beginning to look alot like Christmas"


Nate Silver's been counting all the numbers.

Every poll you see.

Time for Nate Silver to put down

his wizard wand, take off the gown.

The Dumbledore one, his disguise.

 

We are worried because we still remember

Just two years ago his quirks

acting like his numbers reversed ,

somehow knew the future first.

Didn't call Ellen Langer or channel Stephen Jay Gould first.

 

I hope he has finally come to realize

he is not at the race track.

The numbers he likes to trace

are events that all took place

when respondents picked up phone lines.

 

Or answered the caller on the cell phone

and said "Yes, I soon will vote."

Heads up, Nate, what that answer is

is what the person said just then

at that moment not two weeks hence.

 

A person responding to a question

is just the same as you or me

when we enter a voting booth

and record that moment's truth:

when we vote things up or down.

 

Maybe Hogwarts Online could help him

understand time difference

as they say over in Par-ee

Hier ce n'est pas aujourdhui

C'est difference. They're different days.

 

Hogwarts alumni have ongoing

seminars in wizardry.

And reassert all the time

prediction is not their game.

They do their magic in real time.

 

Nate Silver could sign up for the course

on wizardry for those in math.

Statistic anomalies still won't

change a basic fact:

elections won't turn Nate's clock back.

 

The day of the polling he was using

to predict who'd win or lose

He denies it with all his might

but he was hoping he was right

his Wizard hat perched way up high.

 

Over his favorite Dumbledore robe.

Don't you wish he'd just fess up

math has models that don't explain

future happenings which aren't the same

as what is counted when polls are made.

 

 

There are racetracks that run the horses daily

They like their polling geeks

since there's money on the table

picking ponies a good gig.

when Nate retires. Is that next week?

 

We Won't Take That Away From You! In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:51

A musical tribute to a special soon-to-be-retiring Government Elected! George Gershwin might not mind if you sing this to his 1937 "They Can't Take That Away From Me!" New lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook!

Limbotruck_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning) with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook

which could be sung to the 1937  George Gershwin tune

"They Can't Take That Away From Me...'

-Susan Cook-

INTRO: Your Bromance didn't help you start to launch it,

Donald Trump the guy you taunted,

hoping for that big job you wanted.

Soon you're gone.. Now we'll  solve all the  problems still remaining

All the memories we'll remember as you fly south  to leave...

 

The way you just forgot

the way you seemed to toss

the vulnerable, the lost

under the largest rock that you could find.

 

The cost to feed the kids,

Somali immi-grants,

You said all those food stamps did

was pay strippers after they had stripped.

 

The scratch tickets poor people bought

instead of eating. Who'd have thought

the little kids that you had caught

gambling watching women oh so hot..

 

The way you used your words,

when your bills didn't get two-thirds

of Legislative votes

sustaining vetoes. So you made things worse

 

Got on your telephone,

voicemailed the legislator at his home,

It wasn't just your tone,

No, you sounded like a homo-ophobe..

 

You know it sometimes seemed

like that's the way you leaned

Did you really believe

civil discourse includes vaseline?

 

And then there's Veto- ville,

the place you liked to fill.

with legislation you tried to kill

After you melted down in hissy fits.

Oh, we won't take that away from you.

 

Then there's your vengeful side,

You didn't try to hide,

a tax on newspapers,

the ones poor people used to like to buy

 

To maybe get behind

the facts you tried to hide

They thought he's lost his mind

Yes, you did that take away from them

 

Then there's the cut-down trees

so when the snowstorm's breezez

blows drifts across the road, freeze

cars right there, stuck in snow.

 

I-95 a mess, no pine trees there to slow

accumulating falling snow.

And that's another thing before you go

that we will never take away from you.

 

Refrain: 
Climate change will make Florida much hotter,

Don't forget the seashore rising
ever more so rapidly.

If you start to think Maine's nicer,
cold and all, you a
 little older after all,

Remember? No such thing as Governor recall.

 

So now we're back on track

Medicaid 's coming ,

Hey! compassion's coming fast!

Now people know we've got their back.

Oh you'll never take that away from us.


Bannon's Farewell: An Addendum "I Was Seeing Him"

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:47

Great American Wrong Book lyrics for Mr. Bannon, now that Roger Stone, one of 6 of his former campaign colleagues indicted, is one of 3 now convicted.

Christamscard24_small

Addendum to Bannon's Farewell. "I Was Seeing Him..."

to the tune from "I'll Be Seeing You.."
-Susan Cook-

 

I was seeing him, yes

it was a minor whim

I probably should have stayed home

watching re-runs of

a certain Cosa Nostra film .

I had no idea

it was a favorite of his too.

I was hard at work helping You-Know-Who.

 

So I guess I'll change my pattern.

Try to get back to the gym.

Do a lot more yoga.

See if my PC could possibly fit in

The next space launch they're having

maybe Elon Musk could try

get it out there- headed straight

for Mars, hey, maybe for Saturn.

 

Actually, I barely knew him.

Roger Boulder, was that him?

The other thing I do not do

is send out emails

on a whim.

I hope you understand emails

easily are faked.

The important things- I say, face-to-face.

 

That was why I saw him briefly,

usually at yoga class.

He is a big tanner.

Not my style. Burns my nose too fast.

I spend enough time dealing

with my allergies to dust.

How I got by with no yoga,

Let's just say, it's now a must.

 

Now I won't be seeing him

at yoga anymore.

It may be a little while before

a class offered near him. But more

and more, federal prisons opt

to have it. Keeps the prisoners calm.

No more tanning booths.

Just downward facing dog.

 

I will not be seeing him.

I got my computer cleaned up.

Gee, I'm sorry that he's hit

a road bump. Sort of a hiccup.

I don't think back to those days,

I secretly admired

Mr. Mueller. Those head stand shoulders,

shout out, Yoga something he has tried.

 

AND DON'T FORGET!
THE ORIGINAL!

‘Bannon's Pose' 
A Poetic Tribute to the Departure of Mr. Bannon’
To the Tune from ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’

 

https://exchange.prx.org/pieces/213090-in-the-department-of-poetic-justice-bannon-s-fa
Susan Cook-

 

Scaramucci didn’t
read between the fine lines,
called reporters back,
still read things in The New York Times,
I didn’t ever bother,
I never used words like suck or cock.
I’m a journalist.
You know I just like to talk.

 


I am kind of Presidential.
I think that came through.
Yes I’m allergic to
Certain foods, mold, cat dander too.
That’s why my nose looked stuffy
Kind of red, yes, my eyes too,
never got a chance to Photoshop
my best side for you.

 

Then there’s Sean Spicer, Reince Pribus ,
they both do
A certain kind of yoga pose,
I’ll tell you just between us too,
I think yoga is liberal ,
Mahatma Gandhi had his version too
Who’d do that kind of thing?
Alt-left wingers ok Melania, too.

 


There might be a yoga version
made with alt-right guys in mind,
Politically on target
Where you keep your ammo by your side
I won’t have that much time,
I am not planning to retire
I’ll be back at Breitbart,
White guys only need apply!

 

Scaramucci may be
starting his own studio,
Sean Spicer, Reince, maybe even
Mitch McConnell  might decide to go
And when the class is over
Lying in Shavasana,
They will all be chanting
Three times,
What happened,
Ohm, Ohm, Ohm, Ohm.

l

In the Dept.of Poetic Justice! And I Cleared It With You! Michael Cohen's Congressional Testimony

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:09

In the Dept. of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning) with lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook!

Ismyonemarshmellowbetterthanyourtwo_small

In the Department of Justice (and Reckoning) with lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook
( "The Nearness of You")
Michael Cohen's Congressional Testimony
-Susan Cook-
It's  not your old feats 
when you worked  them. The far more rec-
ent, time to complete
them- my updates. Yes and set the 
record straight.  
Now in a trial, 
I could have tried all
legal maneuvers to simply hide
 them, call
the others liars. 
I kept my mouth closed.
Held my nose just so.
What you'd tell me, I'd say ok let's go,
I never tried 
to tell you "Take it slow." 
We did conspire.
We're such good  liars.
Elected, who knew they'd go much higher.
Punish me, who knew 
I'd end up being fired.  
I liked Trump Tower
my office hours
next to yours bro- I lost track though 
of what we call
Jurisprudence in my job.



Then Felix Sader
your  Russian aide, -er  
took my old office, 
no rent- The boss is
right next door. Are you learning Russian too?   
Now, Manafort is quite a liar
Few he answered
with what is called truth.
Looks way worse 
than me or you.
It's not illegal,  
So what word's needed 
for Cosa Nostra, how
do they say that
over in his home, Moscow?
As I'm departing
to spend some time, low
profile, real low,  
now Congress too knows
Cleared it with you,
and you'd say "Yeah, let's go!"

Myths, Proverbs and so on. The Sword of Damocles: A Citizen's Guide

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:23

Quick and to the point! Citizens' Guides adapted from Greek myths, proverbs and so on.

Img_20190126_081559539_small

The Sword of Damocles: A Citizen's Guide
-by Susan Cook-


Once in Greece, there lived a king, Dionysius. Many admired him for his wealth. One courtier, Damocles, admired him. Dionysius asked Damocles why he admired him. Damocles said he would like to do whatever he wished for a day like the king. Dionysius said tomorrow  the next day Damocles would do that. 

The next day Damocles was dressed in royal robes, he had fine food, and good entertainment. Suddenly he saw a sharp sword hanging from a thin thread hanging above his head.  He asked why  it was there. Dionysius replied, "I live with that sword above my head always." Damocles begged the king to take back his power. Damocles never did envy the king again.

COVER    A
MYTHS    A-
WRITING   A-
SPELLING   A-

Myths, Proverbs and so on. The Sword of Damocles: A Citizen's Guide

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:23

Quick and to the point! Citizens' Guides adapted from Greek myths, proverbs and so on.

Img_20190126_081559539_small

The Sword of Damocles: A Citizen's Guide
-by Susan Cook-


Once in Greece, there lived a king, Dionysius. Many admired him for his wealth. One courtier, Damocles, admired him. Dionysius asked Damocles why he admired him. Damocles said he would like to do whatever he wished for a day like the king. Dionysius said tomorrow  the next day Damocles would do that. 

The next day Damocles was dressed in royal robes, he had fine food, and good entertainment. Suddenly he saw a sharp sword hanging from a thin thread hanging above his head.  He asked why  it was there. Dionysius replied, "I live with that sword above my head always." Damocles begged the king to take back his power. Damocles never did envy the king again.

COVER    A
MYTHS    A-
WRITING   A-
SPELLING   A-

Myths, Proverbs and so on. The Sword of Damocles: A Citizen's Guide

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:23

Quick and to the point! Citizens' Guides adapted from Greek myths, proverbs and so on.

Img_20190126_081559539_small

The Sword of Damocles: A Citizen's Guide
-by Susan Cook-


Once in Greece, there lived a king, Dionysius. Many admired him for his wealth. One courtier, Damocles, admired him. Dionysius asked Damocles why he admired him. Damocles said he would like to do whatever he wished for a day like the king. Dionysius said tomorrow  the next day Damocles would do that. 

The next day Damocles was dressed in royal robes, he had fine food, and good entertainment. Suddenly he saw a sharp sword hanging from a thin thread hanging above his head.  He asked why  it was there. Dionysius replied, "I live with that sword above my head always." Damocles begged the king to take back his power. Damocles never did envy the king again.

COVER    A
MYTHS    A-
WRITING   A-
SPELLING   A-

It's Not What You're Given, It's What You Do With What You Get: My Supermarket Monopoly Game and The Pentagon Budget

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 08:36

Fifty-four cents of every federally appropriated dollar goes to the Defense Department budget. Exactly where, the Pentagon auditors find "impossible" to track. Maybe they should hire some Supermarket game auditors to help out.

0308130851_small

It's Not What You're Given, It's What You Do With What You Get:

My Supermarket Monopoly Contest and the Pentagon Budget

 

In my state, the annual "Shop, Play, Win Monopoly"game, a"Collect and Win" game offering" "over $250 million in prizes and money saving offers" after 3 months of fabulous opportunities at every checkout moment at my local Supermarket is winding down.

 

Fingers crossed . I finally went through the hours long process of tearing open (along the perforated lines, of course) each potential gold mother lode held in each small folded square (one for each 10 dollars spent) and then placing each individual rectangular stamp (after meticulously moistening the back) on the "Monopoly Board.

 

The one million dollar cash prize required that you randomly receive 6 certain stamps each with an assigned number (333A1, 334B1, 335C1, 336D1, 337E1 and 338F1) of bewildering complexity.

I knew it would be tough to win that. So I set my sights slightly lower, the $100,000 cash prize maybe with only 5 specifically numbered stamps .

 

In every single category I came up one stamp short with the exception of the One Million Dollar prize in which I came up 2 short. Correction, I also came up 2 short for the $500 Portable Grill and Groceries which I didn't really want. Last year, almost the same thing happened. I won nothing.

 

But how is it that a supermarket chain presenting the same contest in several states offering 28 different prizes manages to precisely track the distribution of millions of these tiny rectangular stamps and confidently state that 3 lucky shoppers "might" win the million dollars or 250 "might" win the $500 Portable Grill and Groceries?

 

This is in stunning contrast to The Nation magazine's article (November 27, 2018) "Exclusive: The Pentagon's Massive Accounting Fraud Exposed". Independent auditors Ernst and Young and others hired to externally audit the Department of Defense reported it impossible to have a reliable audit because of a completely flawed Pentagon accounting system. The audit request came because The Pentagon for 26 years failed to internally audit themselves despite the 1990 Chief Financial Officers' Act requiring all departments and agencies to reliabily internally audit. Only the Pentagon has failed to comply. Impossible to have a reliable Pentagon audit? So, why doesn't the Pentagon hire auditors who took the same statistics classes the people who design the "Shop, Play, Win Monopoly " game did? In the supermarket game, "impossible" probably means one person getting all the little stamps to win "the Million Dollars" and "the $500 Portable Grill and Groceries" and the "$30,000 Jet Skis" . Maybe the "$20,000 College Tuition". And, you know, the Supermarket statisticians know exactly the impossibility of one person winning all 4 of the prizes .

 

Now, the bookkeepers at the Pentagon have far better benefits and far better salaries. than the Supermarket chain contest makers, let alone the benefits and salaries of the high school kids and young adults who work as baggers and cashiers. But those Supermarket statisticians still figure out these complicated probabilities and get every penny the Federal government levies on the workers in taxes.

 

By the way, The Pentagon receives $.54 out of every dollar of federal appropriations.

It has a 2.7 trillion dollar budget and no one knows exactly where that money goes.

 

The Deputy Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan said at least they tried and the Pentagon didn't think they would pass anyway. That attitude would not be tolerated at my local supermarket chain. They after all track those millions of rectangular stamps and insure that only 75 of the "$7500 Family Vacation" prize will be available. Or have the where-with-all to hire auditors who can. No way will more than 75 people ever become lucky winners of that prize- unless- through some miracle in which Pentagon bookkeepers are suddenly cast down the ladder of success and hold jobs at the Supermarket Chain corporate headquarters. And then more Family Vacations then you could imagine going to the unsuspecting shoppers who- it turns out- with the same stroke of Pentagon incompetence have a major lucky day.

 

The Nation article went on to say that years of fraud in the Pentagon books works like this. Quote "When the Dept of Defense submits its annual budget requests to Congress, it sends along the prior year's financial reports, which contain fabricated numbers. The fabricated numbers disguise the fact that the DoD does not always spend all the money Congress allocates in a given year. However, instead of returning such unspent funds to the US Treasury, as the law requires, the Pentagon sometimes launders and shifts such money to other parts of the DoD budget." All of it a violation of the US Constitution. And thus the Pentagon's budget increases every single year.

 

Congress does not demand that the Pentagon enforce the 1990 Chief Financial Officers Act . Each year, the cost of the military budget goes up and up.

 

Going through the Supermarket Checkout line is very poignant sometimes. Food is our life blood. Sometimes, there's the young mom trying to keep a baby quiet and a 4 year old engaged while waiting to see the cost of all the food piled high in her grocery cart. Food is a largely unsubsidized commodity in this country or at least never subsidized at the $.54 cents of every dollar that the military receives. Until Congress demands that the financial record be set straight, no one knows exactly what the Pentagon spends on what. But you can bet, when military conflict comes, the Pentagon is more than willing to entice the low-paid , no subsidized college tuition - federally taxed supermarket workers- to enlist or - be drafted- to place their lives in the the lottery that every military bloodbath inevitably creates.

One small correction. I did win won thing this year. A free bagel.

"Newt! He's Such a Great History Buff!" Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:37

A lyrical tribute to a history buff who just might have the Big picture (and a certain State of the Union address) in his back pocket!

Ismythirtybucksbetterqualitythanyour2


In the Department of Poetic Justice
(and Reckoning)

with lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook!

"Newt! He's such a great history buff!"

(Lyrics for the tune from "Kids!" from the 1960 Broadway musical "Bye-Bye Birdie!")

 

Newt!

We know he's a history buff!

Newt!

I guess he's not had enough

of a certain Special Someone

who's not done as much reading as Newtie has done.

 

Newt!

May have a special edition

of
a book
f ull of erudition!

"Classic American Speeches!"

The latest? You Know Who's rendition!

 

How

to get the Crowd Up On its Feet!

How
to get the House out of their seats!

You Know Whose State of the Union !

Crowd Pleasing

no matter how thin!

 

Facts!

Newt checks them before the press

says,

"Hey wait a sec! Recession is

Not what you'd call an economy's boom.

No, Roubini,

brought into the loop!

 

Newt!
Apparently has never fished!

On

his laptop in Rome, with Callis-

ta, who is there with the Pope.

Newt busy emailing

back home.

 

Tips

and pointers to a special One


Not

the Pontiff, 
Newt's advising done

about a speech that hits a homerun!

Kids, D-Day, World War II accomplishments!


Be-
fore 
Facebook and hashtag Newt,

in-

stant messages.That was not one

of the problems others have faced.

American Speeches

Newt said "Hey do not waste...

 

Time

on things like that silly shutdown

Bring

up bigger things

The Holocaust!

Donald Trump was not even born!

Newt said " No, bring it up if you want."

 

Get

the listeners to appreciate

ev-
erything you're doing! 
The bigger stake

is your re-election next year!

So what? If the stock market tanks?

 

Rou-

bini 
is a flash in the pan.

Hap-
pened to wake up,


feeling quite bad.

He ran out 
of West Grand Lake bass

muttered "Things are looking quite bad!"

 

This,

while he was talking to the press.

Newt,

read it, said "Bah! It's not the bass!

he could eat. I always have fish.

On Fridays, I like,

my Crappie and squid."

 

"Great

American Speeches" might show

How

The President

happened to know

history like the back of his hand!

Did Newt coach him? We deserve to know!

 

Newt!

We know he's a history buff!

Newt! 
I guess he has not had enough

of a certain Special Someone

who's not done as much

reading as Newtie has done!

"Why Can't We Have Advisors Like Newt Gingrich?" In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)!

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 05:37

A musical tribute to Newt Gingrich, sung to a tune from "How do you solve a Problem Like Maria?" from "The Sound of Music". Music is one of the few free necessities available to Government workers during the Newt-advised shutdown.

008_8_small

Department of Poetic Justrice

(and Reckoning)

with lyrics for the Great American Wronhgbook

 

Why Can't We Have Advisors Like Newt Gingrich? 

 

Why Can't We Have Advisors Like Newt Gingrich?

Why do we have to wait for Donald Trump?

Why do we have to see if Trump is changing

his mind, a hundred times when Newt would decide once?

 

How come the public has forgotten Newtie?

Such a decisive leader was he.

Newtie would have taken Ms. Pelosi

and wrapped her right around his right hand's big pinkie.

 

Newtie doesn't like using the back door

even if it is on Air Force One.

He knew William Clinton was ignoring

that Newtie had important business to get done.

 

At least it seemed that way to Mr. Gingrich

A Contract with America he made

Way ahead of Hillary's intention

to give the public health care coverage that she made.

 

Newtie is a very good advisor.

He tells Donald Trump what he should do.The problem

is that Newtie isn't always

available to talk at two or three AM.

 

That's when he and his third wife are sleeping

Correction. She is only number two

Unlike William Clinton, he has segwayed

into marriage one more time. Try something new.

 

When Newt was sequestered in the rear part

of the airplane, you know he was mad..

he thought since he finally was made Speaker

He should at least be coming down the front plane stairs.

 

What makes Newtie such a good advisor

is his deep and probing grasp of life

and he was increasingly excited to hear of times

when Clinton cheated on his wife.

 

You bet Newtie helped the Congress fund it.

Mr. Starr's examination probe

into whether Mr. Clinton perjured

himself when denying what no one was supposed to know.

 

 

Impeachment started under Newtie's gavel.

Fairly quickly moved to bigger things

Infidelity I guess is common

and Newt term as Speaker got unravelled.

 

Turns out other things were on the table

Speaker Gingrich preferred to forget

A certain blonde-ish matter named Callista

Apparently he had forgotten when they met.

 

They kindled their romance before Bill Clinton

met a White House Intern during one

of The Speaker's Shutdowns. Newt had started,

his chick magnet thing and he caught a special one.

 

So when the House was trying to send off Clinton,

fact checkers on overtime to track

accusations against Speaker Gingrich

to see if Newt a pot calling the kettle black.

 

Turns out Newtie's memory for a proverb,

not that great, so he had to resign,

then the House scavenger hunt was started:

for non-womanizers? Hastert the only one they'd find.

 

Now that Speaker Hastert serves his jail time,

decency and non-abuser low

on Newt Gingrich radar as advisor

to Donald Trump whose character slightly below

 

Newt Gingrich who probably has learned his lessons.

He no longer wet behind the ears

the big picture not his special province

so Donald Trump's shutdown hopefully will mimic the way he like Newt Gingrich will go.

 

No Newt Gingrich isn't Presidential,

the back door Air Force One his long term fate,

At least he can console himself forever

knowing Clarissa will still take him on a date.

Newt and Callista now meet with the Pontiff,

 

AKA the Pope who has a plane,

 

and you bet Newt's serious misjudgements have been absolved.

 

Yes, he exits through the front door of the plane.

 

Why Can't We Have Advisors Like Newt Gingrich? 

Why do we have to wait for Donald Trump?

Why do we have to see if Trump is changing

his mind, a hundred times when Newt 's bad choices just take once?


"Marginal!!" In the Department of Poetic Justice (and reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:10

Musical tribute with Santa Claus paying attention to who's marginal and who's not!

Citizensguidetoorganicallygrownpoliticalinfluence_small

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and reckoning)
with lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook!
(could be sung to the 1923 tune from "Babyface!")

Marginal !!
Santa weighs in...

-Susan Cook-

Marginal, you got me thinking that you're marginal!

Every time we turn to you for some inspiration

all we get

misinformation.

 

Santa Claus pays it forward.

He never puts on pause

his bad behavior list

and even now he's thinking way ahead

past this shutdown to two years when

 

Yes, we know that you still wake up thinking

how'd he know

that you were hoping that you'd win

the Presidential election

You being your first Selection.

 

So Santa got

things moving

with his special Santa bot.

On Facebook, got the

Russian adwriters

to come on-board! Hillary completely ignored!

 

You don't know

that Santa has a list

that goes way back

to Richard Nixon, Harry Truman who he gave a break

That Christmas. The headlines a mistake.

 

Coming soon, just one more Christmas

and we hope you're not surprised.

Christmas 2020 when

your stocking starts to bend

down to the floor,

Coal for a President on his way out the door!!!

 

 

Should Old Fish Stories Be Forgot? Auld Lang Syne lyrics for 2018

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 05:46

To the tune from Auld Lang Syne - for the Great American Wrongbook- a musical tribute to say farewell to the past and anticipate a more visionary future in Maine politics.

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Should Old Fish Stories Be Forgot?

2018

(to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

 

-Susan Cook-

 

Should old fish stories be forgot

and never brought to mind?

Like humans after business closed

and leave it all behind.

 

How could we do that now

that someone's finally finished up

his bariatric surgery paid,

the healthcare compliments of us.

 

And now that vaseline will take

a back seat 
in the news,

no pun intended . We're just glad

There'll be respect for diverse views.

 

From politicians who will not take offense

when they differ

and not begin to verbalize

the foulest thoughts inside their quiver.

 

Now to this day, like someone who

exagerrates their catch

and says the fish was two feet long

when it had barely hatched.

 

The bright star that delivered Paul Lepage

to us in Maine

was not divine Providence

or because his base all came

 

To vote for him Election day.

No, that's not the reason why.

The ones who pushed his vote count up

made completely different claims.

 

The first one's known as Rasmussen,

the rest belong to Equality Maine.

Rasmussen, knows how easily

voters voting can be swayed

 

 

When a poll shows who is ahead

Ha! Stochastic bias? What is that?

It measures numbers so it seems

they are all somehow in-bred!

 

If that sounds like Rasmussen's numbers

have relations with each other,

Well, that is just what Stochastic

means. It adds extra numbers!

 

Now enter those in Maine

who said "Wow! Rasmussen's polls are up!"

The Honorable Libby Mitchell falling 

like water poured out of a cup.

 

Here, in Maine, gay marriage was

high up on the to-do-list

of Equality Maine, and the rights

LBGT folks had missed.

 

Now please remember Mr.

Nine Million Dollars said he'd try

to protect gay marriage,

Cutler the name we got to know him by.

 

Eliot Cutler knew that his chance

of winning almost quarantined!

Here comes Rasmussen fixing a long shot,

His polling almost warrantied!

 

Equality Maine's leaders (now

Matt Moonen in Maine's House,

turned nauseous, sick to his tummy,

Yes, he turned white and quite pale.

 

He too decided to email

their membership and push

a vote for Cutler, not for Mitchell,

Polling Statistics not his forte.

 

Now Gay marriage, Equality Maine

feared was headed south,

Rasmussen chuckling from afar

Made sure his polls left no doubt.

 

Maine Press joined Rasmussen's band,

he resting down in New Jersey

or who knows where. We only know he turned

the Governor's race topsy-turvy.

 

Who knows if Equality Maine

has brushed up stochastically

when it comes to skewing numbers

how to make polling numbers lean.

 

We only know that Paul LePage

got enough more of the votes

because Equality Maine fell for

a pollster's pre-election hoax.

 

Eight years have passed

and Mr. Moonen has a brand new job

seeing the wreckage left by lack of vision

by someone who shouldn't have risen to the top.

 

So from now on let's try to find

the visionaries in our politics

who refrain from cyber trash-mouthing

and took courses in statistics!

 

An edge in the elections, as if

the outcome could be hacked.

LePage likely would not get in

without vote-changing emails hijacked.

 

Should old fish stories be forgot

and not allowed to surface

Not if you want bad pollsters banned,

Elections fair, not contaminated on purpose.

"Irrelevant!" For You Know Who! In the Dept of Poetic Justice, with lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 05:21

Attention Evangelicals! What if Jesus holds the Second Coming down in San Joaquin- you all stuck on the other side of the W--- that You Know Who just had to build?

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Irrelevant!

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

with lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook

(could be sung to the tune from "Unforgettable!)

-Susan Cook-

 

Irrelevant!

Mr. President! How you'd become so irrelevant!

I only say this since you now forget

Democracy's genetic

inheritance-

one nation free . That's what the founders meant.

It's not for you to decide who is relevant.

 

Irrelevant.

This is how you got to be so irrelevant?

Even alt-right wingers start to see

six billion dollars quite

excessive. See,

you could be buying ammo

for the army, navy, you know, militarily?

 

It's better spent

in ways that aren't quite so

irrelevant.

Mr. President, you could buy some more

fries and burgers

feed the NFL some more .

At least free tickets

when you're shown the door?

 

Spending our last cent

on burgers a little closer to what

Ben Franklin meant

When he signed the Constitution,

Oh, McDonald's

had not been invented yet.

But you can bet

burgers are more relevant.

 

Evangelicals

think there's something more angel-ical

Steel slats, see through,

What if Jesus means

to hold the Second Coming

down in San Joaquin,

Even Ted Cruz can not intervene

and he'll miss out on the biggest scene?

 

 

 

 

 

Irrelevant!

How'd you end up

so irrelevant?

When the alt-right chose you as President

more ammo coming. You were heaven-sent.

Is Home Depot,

Lowe's your new constituent?

Big boxes making us irrelevant?

 

Mitch McConnell too,

at Home Depot somewhere

down near aisle two

cannot find where steel slats are on view,

looking for the large post diggers too,

Waiting for the clerk to

help him find

wall stuff. Is this a waste of Mitch's precious time?

 

Irrelevant.

Now tell us, Mitch, are we irrelevant?

Please don't tell us that you do not care

If Home Depot signed up for

some new welfare

six billion dollars because of You Know Who?

And you still waiting there

Customer assistance? Not for you?

 

Even Scarramouchi knows

-since he's not working he's been down at Lowe's

checking prices on their wall supply-

noticing they're getting high.

Kelly Ann and Sarah Huckabee

he's seen them down near aisle twenty three

six billion dollars for a wall would be

a lot of gift cards- yes, those would be free-

but still no ammo for their constituency.

 

Even Scarramouchi here

could help you out. He'd warn you not to smear

with words the New York Times will have for lunch

on paper plates recycled from their private hunch

that you are sexist, racist, the whole bunch

of alt-right buzz words.

which will be relevant

and make you more irrelevant.

 

Irrelevant!

Now we find out that he never meant

to lead this country

like Abe Lincoln did

or FDR. Yes, we know, those guys are dead

but Principles live on in what they said,

The Girl Scouts get it

Just like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

When You Wish Upon Bill Barr! Lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook!.In Dept.of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:08

As Mr. Mueller testifies before Congressional Committees, a look back and forward to Democracy's dimming light.

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"When You Wish..."

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning)

with lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook

- sung to the tune of "When You Wish Upon a Star"

 

 

When you wish upon Bill Barr

to give you the lowdown are

you prepared to notice when his judgement is not up to par?

 

When it comes to coming clean

filling in the blanks. You've seen

all the places where he just pushed the tab "delete"?

 

Now, he's passed the torch along,

Mr. Mueller takes it on,

tells the rest of us

if Trump should also now be gone.

 

It's exciting, don't you think?

Finding out what seemed to sink

in the sand when Mr. Barr saw all the links

 

(Let's be honest) just recall

the last Presidential fall

was a chat with Russians, Nixon;s last phone call?

 

Donald Trump just wanted spin

Jared, Junior, Ivanka in

real estate you know

their loans, the debt they're in.

 

Could be helped by Russian banks

financing before their business tanks,

making calls to Russians offering their thanks.

 

Surprise! Donald Trump went on and won

Innocent phone calls were done.

Democrats so negative they're trying to come

 

Down on Donald. What is new?

Democrats think the other shoe

soon will drop. (Don't hold your breath!) on You-Know-Who?

 

 

Mr. Mueller now will start

redacting, a special art,

painting with a broader brush, The Truth, His Part.

 

Testifying, pumpkin spice

latte, waiting, his small vice,

after he come clean, Congress picks off the lice.

 

Many think are living there-

the convictions that now bared

Manafort the others' dirty underwear.

 

Thirty Four indictments is

quite a lot. If innocence

still the same concept we all think it is.

 

Miss Redactor, who is she,

or is it in fact a he

Today, we find out what only Sharpies see.

 

Putting down the velvet tip,

indictments, just who has skipped

walking through grand juries, where Dick Nixon tripped.

 

Co-conspirator who thought,

Yes, a President who's caught

breaking legal rules, leaving our country lost.

 

 

Co-conspirators! Who thought

Yes, a President was caught

breaking legal rules at our country's cost.

 

What we lost on William Barr

disappears- so good, so far

Stay tuned. Mueller's turn to raise Democracy's bar.


Tell me now, what do you think?

Did you hear the President

focusing on You Know Who. Is he on the brink?

 

On impeachment, well, so far,

Trump seems like he missed the part

about Russians voting, changing our vote's part.

 

Should we let Russians decide

which President is on our side

Donald's ego kisses that concern goodbye.

 

 

"Walking These (Impeachment) Articles Back Home.." For The Great American Wrongbook

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:51

As Nancy Pelosi gets ready to hand-deliver the Articles of Impeachment to Mitch McConnell in Kentucky at his home when she gets there from her home in San Francisco ...walking ... some lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook.

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"Walking the Articles Back Home"
to the tune from the 1953 musical "Walking My Baby Back Home"
Gee, it's great. Yes it seems kind of late
Walking these articles back home...
Taking my time, walking my line.
Taking the Articles Back Home.
I'm going alone. California's my home
Yes, it's a ways from D.C.
But the Founders said " Don't let it go to your head.
Just keep walking those articles back home."
Once I'm there, yes, II'll be heading back east.
To make sure Mitch gets this hot potato
In his hands. Ok may be by then
They'll be cool as Kentucky can get.
Mitch will have lots of time on his hands
To decide if he'd like to hear more
Witnesses. Of course it will take awhile
They'll be aging or nearly senile.
Gee, it's great. Yes, it seems kind of late
Walking these articles back home...
It will take time, but I'm walking my line.
Walking the Articles Back Home.

Auld Lang Syne to 2019: Fitbits, Cerebellum and Walking My Impeachment Articles Back Home!

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:38

Auld Lang Syne for 2019: Fitbits, Cerebellum and Walking My Impeachment Articles Back Home!

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Auld Lang Syne 2019

 

 

Should old fish stories be forgot

and finally laid to rest

their gills and fins and scales and such

like old golf hacks who've lost their touch.

 

The polish finally off the balls,

the sheen off the comb-over,

the implants brittle and now gray

'placed, of course, in ancient days.

 

And Mitch now that his shoulders

still recovering from his fall,

Kentucky's finest on the rocks.

We mean, the bourbon, not the Boss.

 

Or maybe he got hurt from Donald Trump

who climbs up there, trying to see

a way to pretend nothing's wrong.

After all, he's been impeached.

 

Donald testing out the strength

of Mitch who is quite short.

His shoulders not like giants have

or the ones Obama has.

 

We've noticed Mitch has not brushed up

on the time line that's about

the Constitution's Regs on mailings sent to Sen-

ators from the House.

 

When Mitch thinks no one's there

he nibbles on his fingernails

especially since Ms. Pelosi

said she does not use Express mail.

 

Back in the day when Ben Franklin,

Thomas Jefferson et al

were sending stuff from here to there

Pony Express was not.

 

Back in the day, when Ben Franklin,

Thomas Jefferson et all

declined to say how long to take

since there was no US mail.

 

In seventeen eighty eight,

the Founders findly hailed

Congress to get a move on things

and build post offices for mail.

Nancy Pelosi has a certain time in mind

to send Articles of Impeachment,

just one of the many things

she'll do when she has time. 

 

She's got alot piled on her plate.

The Constitution drafters too,

took their sweet time, the first Post Office

built in Seventeen Ninety Two.

 

So do the math. That is four years.

To save the government some money

Ms. Pelosi could walk from her home

to give them to Mitch in Kentucky.

 

The GOP prefers to save

their nickels and their dimes

especially for CEOs,

Insurance guys and their kind.

 

Who more often find a fan 

and their ally, Mitch McConnell

and his shoulders. Those are

the ones on which they try to stand.

 

So Ms. Pelosi's will depart,

her fitbit strapped to her arm

and her briefcase with two articles

toward San Francisco and its charm.

 

Now, you know why no one set

time limits back in Ninety Two

average Senate life expectancy

half as long as when Impeachment Articles were due.

 

And here in Maine, Bath Iron Works

still implanting sonar bows

while my neighbors cerebellum

on an MRI may look like they've been fried.

 

The cerebellum is the place

in the brain where balance lies.

Since their lawyers still can walk upright

they're content to close their eyes.

 

 

Should old fish stories be forgot

and finally laid to rest,

their gills and fins and scales and such?

Not while Pelosi still can walk.

An American Sonnet for the Woman Who Is A Journalist

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:02

As Gwen Ifill is honored, as the Holocaust murders of the ancestors of Terry Gross are revealed, in the aftermath of the harassing effort to intimidate NPR's Mary Louise Kelly by the Secretary of State, an American Sonnet for the Woman Who Is A Journalist.

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American Sonnet for the Woman Who Is a Journalist

 

For G.I., T.G., and M.L.K.

 

The moral righteousness of the human

spirit gradually appears as suffering,

a dark spot on the lungs, another strand

of fatigue. Her sustenance, enough, brings

the heaviness to us differently. Just there,

in her questioning, we see physical

intricacies of transformation. This

is how evil spreading its miserable

inhumanity begins to change. This

is how goodness brings itself to the small

crevice inside, sleeping, reawakened,

rising from the body's cellular call,

compassion, for those who've been forsaken.

The softened voice speaks as if her bones find

words, chiselled there by those buried alive.

 

-Susan Cook-

"Me for You, Don't Make Mine Two!" The Iowa Caucus App in Dept of Poetic Justice

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:34

In honor of the Iowa Caucus App Developers, lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook in The Dept. of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning). Hey, it happens everywhere!

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Department Of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning) with
lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook

In Honor of The Iowa Caucus App Developer

"Me for You, Don't Make Mine Two!"

(To the tune from "Tea for Two"
from the 1924 musical "No, No, Nanette"

 

Me for You! Don't Make Mine Two!
Computer Apps for counting. Who
knew when caucuses met, to vote so positive?

 

Hiding underneath the stairs

Wizards? No one like that there

Computer techies picked by lottery?

 

Iowa is pretty big.

Use your cell phone for the pick

for leaders of the Western hemisphere!

 

Only problem- bandwidth means

might not work when there's fifteen

thousand maybe more sending in!

 

Nothing worked. The Democrats! 

No Plan B! They'll take their chance.

Keep their fingers crossed that things go well!

 

Didn't happen. One phone line

busy for a long long time

Fifteen hundred caucus chairs calling in!

 

Harry Potter Under stairs 

Not that kind of magic there

Hiding just like you might have feared.

 

Phone app guy no longer there.

Guy we said, maybe a girl.

No one seems to know exactly where.

 

Now in Iowa, they're back

Pencil, papers can't be hacked

Counting out the hopeful candidates!


For President not residents

of Iowa. The world now wonders:

 how did they screw this up? 

 

Let's be clear. Right here

in Maine. Two thousand four

the Caucus was a little more

like Iowa than not!

 

 

Caucus Chair, his counter too 

applying formulas. Who knew

simple math still room for arrogance!

 

Howard Dean and John Kerry 

Kucinich, the others very

hopeful, caucus votes were counted right!

 

Oh well, didn't happen then!

Gave Kucinichway to man-

yee votes and Howard Dean a tiny spot!

 

Triangles, I guess you'd say

wouldn't give the time of day

to people saying that the math is wrong!

 

Triangles, by that I mean,

Caucus chair, vote counter there,

Important people, do not forget that!

 

I was there. Said I'd email

the Democratic State Party Chair

to find out how to fix the problem math!

 

"Do not contact anyone

about a thing." The caucus done.

The caucus chair replied in the email back!

 

Statewide Howard Dean thus tanked,

a few more vote counters thanked

Now President Howard Dean will not be!

 

Triangled, they wouldn't say!

Hey, we'll recount  votes  anyway.

Then they'll be accurate no matter what!

 

That's how caucuses come down.

Human error, Arrogance.

Still a problem. Maine to Iowa.

 

Someday, Dems will get it right.

Learn the proper way to fight.

No more Trollers, Snarks their favorite hires.

 

Tea for Two. And Me for You!

Votes for President are true

and Yes, we're hoping they'll still turn blue!

 

Holding Hands With Avengrid, What's That They Put In Your Palm? Lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook !

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 02:19

Now that Mainers have said "NO!" to CMP and Avengrid destroying the North Woods, a lyrical tribute from the Great American Wrongbook!

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"Holding hands with Avengrid, What's That They Put In Your Palm?"

 

(To the tune from George Gershwin's 1937 tune "Nice Work If You Can Get It..."

In the Dept. Of Poetic Justice (and Reckoning) with lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook.

 

Holding hands with Avengrid, what's that they put in your palm?

Nice work if you can get it. If you can get it, why not try?"

 

The SEC reports fill in exactly how much their Board is paid.

Were they thinking we'd forget it? Two hundred thousand for work for seven days?

 

Just imagine CMP waiting at Avengrid's Board Room door, where they'll make sure they get it, the largest paycheck, hey, maybe more.

 

In one year Avengrid pays their executives more,

than legislators will be earning until two thousand twenty four.

 

Vote like those who pay you. Hey, do you think they will bail? Ha!

Say "Hasta Luego" to Avengrid, Iberdrola!

 

Quebec, Massachusetts, CMP want Maine's forests stripped

so they can drive gas guzzlers offload their greed and guilt.

 

While all of us lie nights awake, wondering if CMP can again

screw up consumer billing under David Flanagan?

 

Mainers like to pay up, make sure their employees get paid!

But not six figure paychecks for Board Directors for 7 days pay!

 

Who among you thinks the Board and Management will kiss off

Multimillion dollar paychecks no matter who picks up the cost?

 

So bringing CMP under the State of Maine's fiscal roof,

Won't they want those paychecks intact? Before they say "Yes", where's the proof!

 

Holding hands with Avengrid, what's that they put in your palm?

Nice work if you can get it! If you can get it, why not try?

 

Dept of Poetic Justice! Nate Silver's Still Counting All the Numbers! Extra Golf Strokes!

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 07:10

No False Equivalence here! The Pandemic. Trillions of Dollars of National Debt! And You Know Who's Extra Golf Strokes! Counting Every One!

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Nate Silver's Still Counting All the Numbers"

In the Department of Poetic Justice and Reckoning

(With lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook to the tune from

'It's Beginning To Look Alot Like Christmas'

 

Nate Silver's still counting all the numbers.

It's that time. It's what he does

like post offices sorting mail,

delivering snow, sleet or hail.

Nate Silver's on it. Never fail.

 

We're hoping he's got more time to focus.

There's no football. All that fuss

is finally put on hold

so we are hoping we'll be told

what voters will actually do.

 

We're taking a moment to remind him

like we did two years ago

to call Ellen Langer right up, try

a seance, maybe two with Stephen

Jay Gould. They both know.

 

When voters pick up the cell phone ringing

and they're asked who they will choose

the next thing he must require

is this answer. Yes, it's dire.

Will they be mailing in their vote?

 

Kelly Ann Conway has decided

a good way to sabotage

the abundance of dislike now

for You Know What he's called.

He lives in Washington D.C.

 

Cheryl Sandberg creates the conscience

for Facebook. Yes, she's not an app

but she and Mark Zuckerberg

decided to make Truth their act

Just click Like on a Facebook Page.

 

Just in case you haven't noticed

how she and Mark just said "Ok"

to posting lies left and right, on Facebook pages,

What's the gripe with Russians

sharing Voting plans?

 

So what if they're not really voters?

Remember US citizens

have always had to enroll, prove they live here,

Zuckerberg, Cheryl Sandberg,

look it up!

 

Nate Silver, I guess, did not have Facebook

on his radar, plus Russian hack-

ers would not answer calls,

"Are you voting in the Fall?"

Til' Paul Manafort said"Hi, it's me."

 

When You Know Who's not on a golf course

spoiling for those who admire

the skill of hitting the ball,

the little white one so it will fall

into a hole with a big flag.

 

One of the most disturbing shortfalls

of this man's abilities

is when he picks up the stick

tries to reach it back to hit

the little ball off of the tee,

 

There are probably house flies in the suburbs

who are thinking while they laugh

along with the PGA

and Sunday Hackers who would say

"Maybe his fly swatter works best?"

 

For accomplishing something that eludes him.

In this case, to hit the ball.

Mitch McConnell likely regrets

Not just the trillion dollar debts

but Trump's golfing embarassment.

 

Displaying ridiculous ineptness.

We're not talking when adhoc

he starts making things up to say

in press conferences. No, it is the way

he pretends he's playing golf.

 

To get back to Nate Silver's special forte

accuracy, counting skill

Though statistics cannot predict

Election outcomes that will stick

because the ballots must arrive.

 

Nate Silver learned that the hard way.

We know now he's on his game.

Maybe lovers of golf can save

admiration for this game

and hire Nate to clarify

 

Exactly how many strokes are taken

by You Know Who after he shakes

his golf club above the tee,

tries to give it the old heave-

Ho to make it move toward that small hole.

 

 

Nate Silver can finally help them realize

the cost the country now must bear.

The Pandemic has taken more

lives than several major wars.

And then there's Donald fake golf scores.

 

The country has got to hope there's something

left when- Syonara- he is gone.

Yes, I mean living human beings

but don't forget the viewers seein'

the mockery he's made of golf.

 

We're not making falsely equiva-

lent. The Pandemic is far worse

but give us a little break

for Sunday hackers now trying to take

socially distant honest strokes.


It's beginning to look alot like Christmas.

Don't hold your breath. Just check your mail.

The golfers in every town want Nate

counting extra golf strokes You Know Who takes!

Something Russians cannot hide!

In Dept. Of Poetic Justice "When the Saints See My Receipts" Turbo Tax Tribute!

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:58

Lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook! Depreciation. Commuting miles. My Old and Trusty Mileage Log. Tax Experts Waiting to Answer! And much much more.

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When The Saints Find My Receipts”

--Susan Cook-

A Musical Tribute to Turbo Tax To the tune from When I Paint my Masterpiece”

 by Bob Dylan

 

Oh the sheets that hold 

all my deductions

MS Works and Excel too

Spread mighty wide,

The rows and columns,

 stretch up high,

 toward heaven too.

 

Refrain

I sleep calmly knowing my deductions

for my taxes clean as they can be.

If I've erred, I'll find my redemption

I have always kept receipts.

 

You’ve got all last 

year’s deductions,

Rental properties, you knew,

The nonprofits

I give my time to

My hourly fee

Of course you knew.

 

Refrain

Sleeping calmly kmowing contributions

to non-profits where they ought to be.

Someday, maybe more things will be tax-free

Then I'll stop keeping receipts.

 

My mileage log

is old and trusty

Audometers 

I use to tell

The truth to you if I get busted

Commuting miles? 

The road to hell.

 

Refrain

Tax experts are always standing ready

Answer any questions I might have.

Do I have depreciations?

God Bless You! You know I have!

 

 

Just goes to show

Our home computers, 

Desktops or a laptop too

Can bust the chops

of higher taxes

Knock down how much

Federal tax due.

 

Refrain

Of course you always  Will review them.

Ask politely let's go through again.

You looking hard for one more tax break. 

For hard earned cash I shouldn't spend.

 

The streets where gold 

Is used for toilets

Mostly down 

In Manhattan.

The IRS

 tries to stay on it, hence

you devised Audit Defense.

 

Refrain

I sleep calmly knowing the deductions

for tax I've paid accurate and clean.

If I erred I'll find my redemption.

When the Saints see my receipts.

 

Oh the sheets that hold 

all my deductions

MS Works and Excel too

Spread mighty wide,

The rows and columns,

 stretching  high,

 toward heaven too.

 

 

Nate Silver Does Not Believe In Santa! In the Dept. Of Poetic Justice!

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:18

Election Day has come and gone! Remember the poll that really counts most always is the vote you cast. To the tune from "It's Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas!" With lyrics for The Great American Wrongbook!

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"Nate Silver Does Not Believe in Santa"
In the Department of Poetic Justice
With lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook
to the tune from "It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas"
Nate Silver does not believe in Santa,
or  those other jolly times
when all of a sudden there's a special present waiting where
you were worried there'd be none.
It's probably what led him to the racetrack
or attendance in the stands
of football (we know it's lame) Apparently, he likes the game.
It entertains his numbers brain.

Football players are not well known
for calculating variance.
Instead all the players run like buffalo from Ohio
trying to get back to their homes.
Does Nate Silver somehow believe he'd predict
which ones could survive to roam
not the night clubs in Las Vegas. We will give you one small hint.
There's a range they call their home.

We're talking about the buffalo who've
gone the way of Hillary.
Please remember what Nate had said. Two to one she was ahead. I googled it. 
God help those who made bets.

While I am on the topic of the
buffalo, have you seen
out on South Dakota Plains or Colorado's grazing range
descendants with their DNA?
There used to be buffalo out there
in South Dakota where they'd roam
"So-called experts" now would say
they've preserved their DNA in Kristi Noem, the Governor.






I'm not talking about who's in the White House.
You Know Who has not left yet.
I mean the buffalo so ask Nate Silver did he know
they disappeared long years ago?

Henry Louis Gates could tell him
along with ancestry.com.
Did he have any ancestors who were living way back then
 did their Chi-Squares on chalk boards.

I'm taking this time to just remind him
if he was working in those days
He'd say "Buffalos everywhere!" not the kind You Know Who has dared
to tell the public. Trump's lies now bared.
That's kind of what we all expected
reading Nate's forecasts for when
the numbers had all come in. No surprise according to him,
Hillary got elected!
So now that we've seen the disappearance
of government, Hillary and
buffalo who used to roam where they belonged not in the home
we call the White House. We should have known.
To get back to our old buddy Santa.
By the way he is not real.
Like the numbers that make up polls . What the future now will hold
depends on you casting your vote!

Bannon, Santa Claus and all that in The Dept. of Poetic Justice

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 05:00

A lyrical tribute from one Special Viewer observing the Republican National Convention and a certain Pardon being given by You Know Who!

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Dept. of Poetic Justice! "Fix Me Partner" 
to the tune from "Here Comes Santa Claus"
 Lyrics for the Great American Wrongbook!

Miss me Partner? Miss me Partner?
I'm stuck in this cell.
Fix me Partner!
Fix me Partner!
Clemency might well
Clarify I took my cut
That software cost so much!
Raising money for the wall
I thought you said " Go Dutch!"


I was watching on my TV
Back inside my cell.
Didn't think I'd feel too good
When you came on the screen!
Suddenly it turned around
Then I began to feel
The last thing on Planet Earth
I want is a plea deal!
Hey there Partner! Hey there Partner!
I'm a savvy guy!
Have been cleaning up my act,
No stuffy nose, red eyes!
I know right from wrong!
I have not lost my strategy.
This time there's a little twist.
No long jail term for me!
I thought you were on your game
I noticed right away
You were smiling broadly
Making that felon's day!
Little episodes like that
strike at the viewer's heart.
When you're re-elected I know
you'll make sure I get my part!
You know I've had lots of time
to pray to Jesus Christ
or to one who's always caught
my eye . His name is God.
There is room in the Bible,
you know your favorite Book!
I know that you don't memorize.
Hey, give this part a try!
Matthew, Mark, Luke, then there's John 
have sections where they say,
"Let's let bygones be bygones
on Re-election Day!
I know that I am paraphrasing! I'm so good at that!
I used to own some media
where we'd make up the Facts!
Moses said some things I think
will certainly apply. 
How about the one where he says
"Do not use my name in vain!"
One thing, Donald, you know 
that I never would deny.
I do not use swear words
and No, I've never gotten high.
I can't help it if my allergies
are acting up!
One thing in the jail cell
No flowers or trees to smell!
The left-wing media has tried 
to say my stuffy nose
is from using weed or alcohol.
No, never, one of those.
I'll remind you once again
what your special book says.
Do not renege on promises
you made to me back then.
Jesus offered clemency to
those who found their way,
Specifically, he said
"No plea deals
with A.G.s or D.A.s."
I hope you haven't started reading.
You're not one of those.
Kristi Noem said they're elite
so-called experts. So!
You like to watch TV instead of reading.
I get that.
So trust me when I fill you in on
new Biblical facts! 
I will not blow it for you! I will not blow my horn!
Cohen Sschmoen! Boltin' Bolton
book deals! Now you know!
I was making sure Temptation
would not come my way.
Simon-Schuster pocket booster
Big bucks? I did it  my way!
Here comes Santa Claus!
Here comes Santa Claus!
Evangelicals
believe in him. And so do I!
That's why I often chose
to act on your agenda so when "24" is here
You'll generously pardon me
We'll both have a better year!

Remembering We Have Already Said Farewell: "Epilogue: To a Fire Gone" from "Breathing: American Sonnets"

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:42

An American Sonnet to those to whom we have said "Farewell".

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From "Breathing: American Sonnets"
by Susan Cook
(available from  GulfofMainebooks@gmail.com)

 

Epilogue

 

To a Fire Gone

 

After "Reluctance: by Robert Frost

Ah, when to the heart of man

Was it ever less than treason

To go with the drift of things,

To yield with a grace to reason

And bow and accept the end

Of a love or a season?

 

 

When was it less than treason? But what do

you mean, Mr. Frost? That’s for countries to

feel short-changed by. Loss happens to those who

see the passing on of days, years, one blue

time in life, one breaking, undoing a

treacherous rope they have been tied onto,

its deep burn. In the coldest time of day

or night, fires started that you thought grew

larger instead were, licked back into their

own intensity, remained confined on

one small patch of earth. You did not see where

the fire, some time later, died. You were gone.

Big difference, see, between countries resigned

to losing, small unfed fires, gone in time.

America's Sonnet

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | :57

From America's Sonnet, "This sonnet's yours America, but you
will not take all my loves, turn my Black, brown, blue."

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America's Sonnet
-Susan Cook-
It is so hard to write you this sonnet
because I long for you in another
way. I want to feel justified, make it 
like "Shall I compare thee to a summer
day?" But there was that summer day, one man
with all those guns that you allowed him to
buy to kill. He was an American-
style imposter. I want you to be true.
I will not  just say they're your pretty wrongs,
in your pursuit of happiness, me, you,
Then you go behind my back. Someone conned
me, telling me you have more than you do.
This sonnet's yours America, but you
will not take all my loves, turn black, brown, blue.

Auld Lang Syne Repurposing the Bottom Line To Hear For Whom The Bell Tolls!

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 03:45

This year, even with its dashed hopes and fear of "deja vu all over again" an abundance of good prevailed.

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Auld Lang Syne !

 

Repurposing The Bottom Line To Hear For Whom The Bell Now Tolls!

 

-Susan Cook-

 

Should old stock options be forgot and not put up for trade?

Curevac, Novartis, Sputnik Five

Oh, right Sputnik's not on our exchange.

 

Now do not fret. Moderna and German-based Bio N Tech pulled through

 and managed to earned good money

unlike what Pfizer, their US partner could not quite do. 

 

For those of you who wonder how vaccine makers gears did shift

to their bank accounts

and  bigger wallets to make sure their profits fit.

 

Into their pockets to not confuse the world (they are discrete)

their job of saving lives

with good old American Wall Street greed.

 

And don't forget the home test kits, administered at your leisure

so when you board a New York bus

your weapon will not be your sneeze.

 

Now for a minute, let's forget Nancy Messonier, the queen

of 2020 Test disasters

like the CDC had never seen.

 

And put on hold her minimizing so she'd stay employed

the virus which we needed testing for,

the bug we needed to avoid.

 

So fortunately Abbott, Quidel stepped up to the plate

and gave us Binax, Quick-Vue tests

to check on antigens we've made.

 

And since we're on the topic, yes, these home tests are great.

Please remember twenty-nine point six,

Abbott's stock increase this year, to date.

 

Now, no one in their right mind, well, hard times can bring forgetting

this country's favorite sound.

It goes like this: Ca-ching, ca-ching, ca-ching.

 

Even so, some companies disregard the bottom line

when a crisis comes

(think 3/10/20) they thought of us all the time.

 

In Maine, some companies said, “We 'll make products that will help”

Protective clothing and face masks, hand

sanitizer, and brand new tests.

 

Alcohol once used in Maine Spirit Bourbon quarts

was repurposed in a Growler size

to sanitize germs of all sorts.

 

And Idexx didn't drop the ball, recommissioned Canine tests

to accommodate Covid genomes

found in human nostrils through their tests.

 

And LL Bean did not bail out on doing what they could.

They made masks, protective shoes,

and gowns. Just their way of doing good.

 

These times have been exhausting. Yes, we've been raked through the coals.

For some Maine business, the bottom line

listens for whom the bell now tolls.

 

Tell Me How Many Black Seabirds

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:02

In these times, a poem for the places we find resilience.

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Tell Me How Many Black Seabirds
-Susan Cook-

 

Tell me how many black seabirds

woke up this morning, flew to a high place,

shook off a thousand drops of river, heard

each one, in slow motion, fall, a trace

of where each one began inside. This is

a daily ritual. They celebrate

with such silence, quiet applause, which is

to say, this abundance will tell a (late

sometimes) lie. The absence of chaos, just

drops of water shaken off, lets the heat

from the sun's dependable rays, we trust,

bring heart to any body's weary beat.

Tell me how we remind ourselves to turn

to the deliberate, needing it just now.

Dad Donald- A Parenting Guide to Being Presidential

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 04:52

Human Growth and Development textbooks may be the ‘go to’ reference to explain ‘what the hell is going on’ as the new Republican opponent apparent, Mr. Trump has said, in this 2016 Presidential race.

You may remember from your Human Growth and Development class the different kinds of parenting power and decision-making that Gerald Lesser, Diana Baumrind, Carolyn Newberger and others have identified. There’s the egalitarian parent’s power- the child has more influence in decision-making than the parent. Then there’s the democratic parent’s approach to power- decisions are made collaboratively. Finally, entering the room via the gold escalators, just to remind you who brings the bacon home, there’s the absolute authoritarian parent- What Dad says goes. Dad makes all the decisions. If Dad says we’re building a wall, we’re building a wall. Dad divys out praise or shame or warmth depending on whether Dad thinks you need it. Dad’s power, after all, controls the resources- financial, emotional and physical . If Dad thinks public humiliation and shaming is in order- well, this is just what Dad has to do. He doesn‘t have to apologize for injustice, crudeness or even the psychological violence of what he says or does. He is Dad.

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Dad Donald- A Parenting Guide to the 2016 Presidential Race

-Susan Cook-

Human Growth and Development textbooks may be the ‘go to’ reference to explain ‘what the hell is going on’ as the new Republican opponent apparent, Mr. Trump has said, in this 2016 Presidential race.

You may remember from your Human Growth and Development class the different kinds of parenting power and decision-making that Gerald Lesser, Diana Baumrind, Carolyn Newberger and others have identified. There’s the egalitarian parent’s power- the child has more influence in decision-making than the parent. Then there’s the democratic parent’s approach to power- decisions are made collaboratively. Finally, entering the room via the gold escalators, just to remind you who brings the bacon home, there’s the absolute authoritarian parent- What Dad says goes. Dad makes all the decisions. If Dad says we’re building a wall, we’re building a wall. Dad divys out praise or shame or warmth depending on whether Dad thinks you need it. Dad’s power, after all, controls the resources- financial, emotional and physical . If Dad thinks public humiliation and shaming is in order- well, this is just what Dad has to do. He doesn‘t have to apologize for injustice, crudeness or even the psychological violence of what he says or does. He is Dad.

In this and many cultures , The Dad persona- and the person assuming it- is given broad license to do what Dad will. Parenting is an innate, developmentally and culturally defined mindset. I wrote an entire Masters’ Thesis about its intricacies. When someone subtly or overtly begins to play ‘the parental power card’ and exercise parental power over you, it’s hard to immediately recognize because - well, we all there at one time. None of us become our own parents- or parents ourselves- until we grow up or had to. Which is part of the reason it has been so hard to hear what Mr. Trump has been doing. He will parent us, or treat us and the problems of this country as if is he were the authoritarian parent yielding his absolute power like authoritarian parents do. And those of us who never rebelled - whether our parents liked it or not- and became our own parents can really be kowtowed. A turning point in human development is telling Dad- up front- “You can’t tell me what to do. “ Or some variation of questioning Dad’s omniscience. That power shift forever more changes human development.

This is Donald Dad Trump. He doles out humiliation as needed- he threatens to take the car keys or build a wall- and once he comes down the gold escalator- Dad built that-you know-he will tell Mr. Cruz he’s smart. He will tell Reince Pribus what a big boy he is doing his job as Republican Party chair. And on and on.

Great dads are a wonder to behold. My father was a great father. He held leadership positions of influence. He was the President of the Automobile Dealers Association in the state I grew up in the 1950’s- the automobile’s heyday. He knew parenting is also about knowing what you don’t know- and respecting that every child- every child- has something to teach a parent about how to be a parent. And to be President you have to listen to the economist , the defense and state department , the Supreme Court, and the Congress children. And I do not believe Dad Donald gets that not doing that is the end of the house of Dad Donald’s power. Many a three year old has told a shocked parent, ‘You’re not the boss of me.‘ Dad Donald doesn’t remember that .

"I Saw Santa Scrolling Through his Phone at Nate Silver's Polls" In the Dept of Poetic Justice !

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | :00

In the Department of Poetic Justice (and Poetic Reckoning)! The Midterm Election results according to Santa's List .

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My We-Contained Democrat

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | :59

If we live in a we-contained world, shouldn't we all be Democrats?

Wecontainedem_small David Brooks' new book raises a big question: When is he going to be a Democrat?

An American Sonnet for The Woman Who Is a Journalist

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:17

During National Poetry Month, an American Sonnet to bring us to know better the women journalists of Ukraine.

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American Sonnet for the Woman Who Is a Journalist

For the women journalists of Ukraine

The moral righteousness of the human
spirit gradually appears as suffering,
a dark spot on the lungs, another strand
of fatigue. Her sustenance, enough, brings
the heaviness to us differently. Just there,
in her questioning, we see physical
intricacies of transformation. This
is how evil spreading its miserable
inhumanity begins to change. This
is how goodness brings itself to the small
crevice inside, asleep, reawakened,
rising from the body's cellular call
compassion, for all who are forsaken.
The softened voice speaks as if her bones find
words, chiseled there by those buried alive.

-Susan Cook-

Sonnet for Looking for China

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | :59

From the Spring 2023 Maine Arts Journal. A poem on the intricacies of grieving.

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Sonnet for Looking for China

(Maine Arts Journal, Spring 2023)

-Susan Cook-


I am in my garden when I fall on

my knees because I remember I can't

find you now. Things that call or that beckon,

what walks toward me, has not been you. It can't

be. So, because I remember behind

everything, there is always something more,

I start to dig. People have tried to find

China this way. You found it, I bet, sure

now, of where it is that loss goes, the fall

it brings. I will find it too and when we're

there, together, we will celebrate small

truths. "Woman burrows to China." We'll cheer

human accomplishment, what cupped hands can

do, know what it is we didn't know then.


A Poem to the President of the NRA

From Susan J. Cook | Part of the The River Is Wide series | 01:09

This poem to the President of the NRA has no statistics, no logic, no legal reasoning or principle. Only profound grief and sadness..

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A Poem to One President of the NRA
-Susan Cook-
Let's begin, Mr. Lapierre. You too
visualize: death's examiner, see
where there's the trail strewn with bloody hearts, blue
bodies, drained of life, their luscious mouths, we
can't begin to open because each one
comes back to this. We feed our young with spoons
of silver, gold. Someone acquires a gun
or leaves the door wide open to the rooms
and rooms where the guns are manufactured,
with a day like this in mind: someone, scared
(it could be you) whose fear has finally lured
him into thinking: This is truth or dare.
Whose child knows now, guns mean death, do not care,
don't distinguish truth from fear, fear from dare.