Summary: Adrienne Damicis has been in and out of the hospital since birth. As she becomes a teenager, her parents struggle to learn the difference between keeping her safe and holding her back.
Great opening! I was expecting a longer scene to open the piece (that formula start with action...) I liked hearing the kid explaining the process of the circus.
The editing between his parents was a little too much rapid-fire back and forth for me - needs more variation, and don't be afraid to pause for nuance. Also, I thought it was weird that it was panned left and right. Just putting that out there.
The ending section is stressful but powerful, it must have been hard to tape - was it a lapel mic? Maybe try keeping the marching band music as a bed - maybe to create tension.
Sometimes I thought you could have done fade-outs slower, or kept ambient noise underneath talking more often.
Great story, good development, nice bookends! yay!
Comments for Everything's Dandy
Produced by Jennifer Ball
Other pieces by Salt Institute for Documentary Studies
Rating Summary
1 comment
Tom Niemisto
Posted on April 27, 2009 at 05:31 PM | Permalink
strong tape with a human story
Great opening! I was expecting a longer scene to open the piece (that formula start with action...) I liked hearing the kid explaining the process of the circus.
The editing between his parents was a little too much rapid-fire back and forth for me - needs more variation, and don't be afraid to pause for nuance. Also, I thought it was weird that it was panned left and right. Just putting that out there.
The ending section is stressful but powerful, it must have been hard to tape - was it a lapel mic? Maybe try keeping the marching band music as a bed - maybe to create tension.
Sometimes I thought you could have done fade-outs slower, or kept ambient noise underneath talking more often.
Great story, good development, nice bookends! yay!