Piece Comment

Review of Civics and Conservation Summit

This is an interesting story about kids combining interests in government and the environment. It has a nice potpourri of voices, and Aviva Hirsch maintains a mature journalistic tone. A few levels problems aside, my main comment on this piece is that it doesn't seem to answer the initial question it poses: "Do people who can't vote still have a voice in creating laws?" The piece doesn't address how the students' opinions impacted the legislators at the Civics and Conservation Summit or how the kids' voices influenced laws, but how the summit inspired the students. It's still a compelling story. In the future it might be helpful to think of a focus statement (someone doing something for a reason), and then adjust it as the piece evolves, so that the thesis matches the story being told.