What a great introduction. I love the sound of the soda can popping open
and your casual and honest narrative. However, as the story progresses,
I think the enthusiasm and expertise from the beginning is lost. I would
have loved to hear more sound effects later on in the story. The “whatever”
is perfect in the beginning and gives the listener a window into your
personality, however, I think once is enough. In essence, be careful about
repeating words.

This is a great topic because teens- you specifically- have an intimate
connection with high fructose corn syrup. This aids in connecting you to
your listener. You have a clear and interesting voice so keep up the good
work!