Everything's Dandy > Comments > "strong tape with a human story"
Piece Comment
Commenter Profile
- Tom Niemisto
- Username: niemistt
- Location: Northfield, Minnesota
- Joined PRX: Aug 18, 2008
Piece Information
- "Everything's Dandy"
- Summary: Adrienne Damicis has been in and out of the hospital since birth. As she becomes a teenager, her parents struggle to learn the difference between keeping her safe and holding her back.
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strong tape with a human story
Tom Niemisto
Posted on April 27, 2009 at 05:31 PM
Great opening! I was expecting a longer scene to open the piece (that formula start with action...) I liked hearing the kid explaining the process of the circus.
The editing between his parents was a little too much rapid-fire back and forth for me - needs more variation, and don't be afraid to pause for nuance. Also, I thought it was weird that it was panned left and right. Just putting that out there.
The ending section is stressful but powerful, it must have been hard to tape - was it a lapel mic? Maybe try keeping the marching band music as a bed - maybe to create tension.
Sometimes I thought you could have done fade-outs slower, or kept ambient noise underneath talking more often.
Great story, good development, nice bookends! yay!