Piece Comment

Review of Obesity

I think I am one of those people who need an hour or two on that running machine! I liked your piece allot it kept my attention throughout the whole thing. The sound of you in the beginning of your piece running on the machine and out of breath was amazing, I think that is what got my full attention. You have an amazing voice for story telling, I loved it! Did you ever answer that question in the beginning about why you are the only one on the running machine? Also your story focuses on one tiny part of why people are overweight, but I think its more then just exercising and finding new ways to approach it. In this world people are overweight for a number of reasons so many people are emotional eaters, and also some people just don't know the right foods to eat! You mention the health problems with obesity or being overweight that too, was a very small tiny-inzy-binzy list! I totally understand why you couldn't mention all the health problems related with obesity but a quick word saying that ?some of the health risks with obesity are........?, would make a difference, letting the listeners know there is more. In your story you focused on African Americans, are you African American? When doing a story you have to make sure you paint the full picture an obvious traits like being black can make the story take a different stand point so you have to make sure you MENTION all of the important details in a very creative way. Besides all of that, your story KICKED BUTT!