Awesome piece. I am going to make my older brother who is addicted to Mc Donalds listen to it tonight...maybe it might steer him the right way! Your piece hit some very important reasons why teenage kids are the majority of fast food eaters, one because its cheap and two because it tastes good. And I also realized from your piece that adults probably try to eat better because they can afford the healthier food, like tofu fried in sun flower oil with asparagus. Now for some constructive criticism in the beginning of your story you described this family who constantly eats at fast food restaurants, three times a week. I heard what the kid had to say but what would have been great is what the adult, in this case the mother had to say. Also allot in your piece you mad a mistake that MANY adult journalist make even today, you repeated stuff twice or even three times. Example: In the beginning of your story you say that ?Steven does not think about the affect they (fast food) have on him? then after that you ask Steven ?so do you consider the health value when you order milk shake? and he replies ?not really?. As you can hear you basically said it twice but in different ways, it happens again in your story towards the middle to the end in your interview with Edmin Chatman and John where they repeat the same thing. The problem is that in a story like this many people are going to have the same opinions so you have to find a way to not repeat the same ideals but still get the major ideal (I know its hard work, trust me!). Lastly in your story you say the main reason why Jennifer Heartman (the nutritionist) stopped eating fast food was because she became aware of the health consequences, well I think it would have been excellent if you would have named some of the health problems fast food causes....Finally (this time im serious) Please Excuse the spelling of the names. And also Great Job on your story, you ROCK!
Review of Fast Foods
Rocky Tayeh
Posted on December 29, 2005 at 06:29 PM
Awesome piece. I am going to make my older brother who is addicted to Mc Donalds listen to it tonight...maybe it might steer him the right way! Your piece hit some very important reasons why teenage kids are the majority of fast food eaters, one because its cheap and two because it tastes good. And I also realized from your piece that adults probably try to eat better because they can afford the healthier food, like tofu fried in sun flower oil with asparagus. Now for some constructive criticism in the beginning of your story you described this family who constantly eats at fast food restaurants, three times a week. I heard what the kid had to say but what would have been great is what the adult, in this case the mother had to say. Also allot in your piece you mad a mistake that MANY adult journalist make even today, you repeated stuff twice or even three times. Example: In the beginning of your story you say that ?Steven does not think about the affect they (fast food) have on him? then after that you ask Steven ?so do you consider the health value when you order milk shake? and he replies ?not really?. As you can hear you basically said it twice but in different ways, it happens again in your story towards the middle to the end in your interview with Edmin Chatman and John where they repeat the same thing. The problem is that in a story like this many people are going to have the same opinions so you have to find a way to not repeat the same ideals but still get the major ideal (I know its hard work, trust me!). Lastly in your story you say the main reason why Jennifer Heartman (the nutritionist) stopped eating fast food was because she became aware of the health consequences, well I think it would have been excellent if you would have named some of the health problems fast food causes....Finally (this time im serious) Please Excuse the spelling of the names. And also Great Job on your story, you ROCK!